Teen Titans go Retro!
by General Rage
Summary: GR's obssession to become famous by any means nessescarry zaps the Titans into a parody of the 1970 superhero show Super Friends Turning all the character into even bigger stereotypes ever before! Can the Titans survive the stupidity of this parody
1. Cue Crappy Theme Music!

Teen Titans Go Retro!

Chapter 1: Cue Crappy Theme Music!

(Just another normal day at Titans Tower, everyone is preparing to settle in for a day of Movie Marathon action as Cyborg has wiped up enough Popcorn to last them days on end. Beastboy has the first pick.)

BB: Okay guys, I've narrowed down my choice for my first turn down to two. Will it be "Robotic Pirate Ninja Zombie Monkeys from Space!" Or "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life" a hilarious romp through the life cycle of man to find the answer to the ultimate question.

Cy: What does it matter, your next pick will obviously be one of those two anyway.

Raven: And isn't the first one just a plotless piece of junk that never goes anywhere?

BB: (Thinks it over) Yeah but it has Robot Pirate Ninja Zombie Monkeys from Space! Its a movie that promises you everything in the title itself! Like that other movie that came out, you know the one with the Samuel L. Jackson and those snakes on that plane, the title escapes me at the moment.

Robin: Just put on either Beastboy, it is your turn.

BB: The thing is Raven goes next and knowing her she'll put on a real dark drama or horror film.

Raven: I was planning on watching something that suits both our tastes actually Beastboy. A nice little dark comedy satire of 1960's poltics called "Dr. Strangelove" I found it in your DVD pile last night.

BB: Never thought you'd pick one of my movies.

Raven: I never thought I'd spend the night in your room. Strange things happen huh. But next time its my bed okay.

BB: Why, you don't want another bag of chips poking your back?

Raven: That and I don't want to worry about stepping on any tofu bar wrappers when I get up.

Cy: You know, you can stop pretending that you two aren't girlfriend and boyfriend. We know what you do to each other every saturday night in each other's rooms.

Raven: Cyborg do you want to get your face pummeled?

Cy: Geez sorry. At least you two aren't obsessively obvious. Like some people (Looks over at Robin and Starfire)

Robin: What?

Star: Perhaps the movie I choose may be a Romantic Comedy that has characters who resemble both me and Robin's personalities so we may indulge in fantasy as we watch?

BB: Seriously Robin we'd like it if you just toned things down a bit.

Raven: Yeah, you guys keep making goo-goo eyes every two seconds.

Robin: No we don't!

Raven: You're doing it now!

(Robin and Star are looking at each other in that sickening new married way)

BB: Okay thats it, I'm putting on Monty.

(Screen turns on and rveals GR's face)

GR: Hello butt nuggets.

BB: AAAHHH!

Robin: Oh hell no!

Star: Brother-in-law General Rage! How nice it is to see you. Please tell us why you have hijacked the television?

GR: What do you think I'm just gonna march right in to your little tower and let you guys attack me with your stinking super powers?

Robin: Where are you GR? Cause so help me god I will find you and bring you to jail for everything-

GR: Sorry Bird Brain not gonna happen. I'm not stupid you know. Anyway Id like to introduce you to someone.

(Sergeant Pain appears on the screen)

Sergant Pain: Hello!

GR: Everyone meet my son, Sargeant Pain.

Pain: Wow dad you were right, the kid with the mask does dress like a dork!

(Robin scowls)

Star: Oh how joyous! Hello nephew Pain! I am Starfire your mother's sister!

Pain: (Looks confused) I'm related to her?

GR: Yes, its weird I know.

Star: Please how is my beloved sister? I know she is still the cruel and destructive person she has always been but I still do enjoy talking to her...when she's not in the mood.

GR: Blackie is here too.

(Blackfire sits down and puts her arms around GR)

Blackfire: Hey earthlings! (Scowls at Starfire and talks in a low annoyed voice) Hello little Sister.

Star: Sister Blackfire, it is so joyous to see you! Perhaps when you stop being jealous of my life and become less evil we can have a playdate with little nephew Pain.

Blackfire: (Sarcastic) Oh sure, we'll do that, and we can visit fantasyland while we're at it. We'll go to candy drop lane and skip and frolic through the pixie stick fields, (In a more serious voice) Its never frickin happening.

Pain: I'm related to an overly chipper Alien who has a Bird Brained Traffic Light as a boyfriend. My life is over and I'm only a few months old.

GR: Oh don't be so pessimistic. Go run along now and play Grand Theft Auto whilst daddy talks to his friends.

Pain: Whatever dad, reveal your evil illegal plan for creating entertainment for the masses. I don't care. (Walks off)

Blackfire: Isn't he an angel, just like his father.

Robin: What do you want Rage?

GR: The usual, mindless mayhem for the sake of a quick buck or two.

Blackfire: And becoming famous, don't forget that

GR: Ah yes, the dog eat dog nature of Hollywood. I love it so. So anyway me and Blackfire have made time in our busy schedule to contact you all.

Blackfire: We have to be quick, its roleplay night.

GR: And we both require our regular dose of sexual stimulation.

BB: Do you two ever go a day without sex?

GR: No. We must have one expierence a day. Otherwise everything else is unfullfilling.

Robin: Have you ever considered that maybe you should, I don't know, stop! I mean you have a kid now!

GR: An extremely intelligent kid who knows how to take care of himself. I mean I taught him how to use a gun. He shoots almost as good as me.

(Titans look at him in shock)

Blackfire: Besides our relationship is completely healthy. And we don't always express our love through sex you know.

GR: Sometimes we go out, have a few burgers, maybe a banana split or two, head to the movies, kill some Columbian Drug Lords...

Blackfire: Don't forget last week when we harrassed Jack Thompson by throwing eggs at his door.

GR: Sucka should know better then to mess with my video game systems. Anyway Titans I was going over some ideas...

Raven: Of how to make our lives worse?

GR: Not too far off the mark Raven. You see a lot of TT original comic fans hated your animated show because of how simplified and warped it was from the original source canon. So whilst I was thinking how I could of made the show better I also came across a way to make it even worse.

Cy: Why would you do that?

GR: You know I haven't the slightest clue. I just thought it would be fun to try it out on you guys. Here's what I'm gonna do, I'm going to zap your entire city with an awesome piece of movie technology I stole from a lab...because I have no knowledge of how to invent stuff like this. (Blackfire pulls curtain off of laser gun in the corner) This little firebrand is going to place Jump City back to years 1968-1973! At the time superhero shows were childish, stupid, pointless and more or less made the original source material they were based off of a huge disgusting joke. Shows like the 1960's animated series of Spiderman or the Superfriends were so bad you could never take them seriously.

Robin: So you're going to zap our city and turn it into a craptacular saturday morning cartoon from the late 60's and early 70's!

GR: Well I already accomplished turning you losers into drugged out hippies in my "Trial of Billy Jack" parody. This is an entirely different parody of what I did before. I'm now lampooning the crappy TV of that time period. Now prepare for your assimalation into insanity! Blackfire! FIRE THE LASER!

(Blackfire fires the laser to the tune of Super Evil Genius music)

Robin: Titans r-

(Laser blast hits city and engulfs them all, crappy music cues up and a title screen showing a Giant T flahes in our faces then the T splits and shows the title 'Teen Titans' with the five Titans standing on it with big stupid smiles, then theres a flash and we close up on the T tower)

Narrator: (God like commading voice) In the great halls of the T Tower, there are assembled five of the worlds greatest Teenage Heroes! The Teen Titans! Created by the cosmos' greatest stories and by cheap animators. All so that the producers of this network can make easy money from this comic tie-in that destorys any hope of someone outside the comic community actually taking superheroes seriously.

(Robin's logo appears on screen and Robin swings into frame)

Narrator: Robin! Leader of the Titans! With his quick wit and gadgets Robin can solve any problem! Although he's the most predictable and boring one of them all and no one can understand why they'd pick him as a leader if he's just an annoying little prick.

(Robin looks screen with an angered and suddenly hits a building face firstr. A green Star slides into place and Starfire burst out of it)

Narrator: Starfire! An alien from another world! With overpowering strength and laser eyes she is more then a formidable force for any enemy. However her role will be downplayed because she is a woman.

Starfire: What? (Starfire's eyes glow with white hot anger as they begin to turn green, screen turn to an open field as Cyborg drops from the sky and the ground crack beneath him)

Narrator: Cyborg! The Token Black Cybernetic Superhero! With his technological supremacy he can bring about the destruction of all those who oppose that which is right. But we won't use him much either. He's just here to provide ethnic diversity.

Cyborg: Pft, whatever

(Scene turns to Jungle as Beastboy swings down from the trees as a monkey and morphs back to a human)

Narrator: Beastboy, the green changeling who can turn into any animal! He's our comedic relief. Thats basically it.

BB: What? Thats it? No long winded intro? No valuable input as to my place on the team?

Narrator: No we don't care.

(Scenes switches to black Raven that morphs into Raven's shape)

Narrator: And Raven, the mysterious girl from another diemension who can control dark magical energy.

Raven: I just know I'm going to hate this parody.

Narrator: Too bad, because you're in the opening now and there isn't any going back at this point. Now and forever.

Raven: I hate life.

(Scene switches to two people with elf ears and bad haircuts and crappy yellow jumpsuits)

Narrator: And junior heroes in training The Blunder Twins, Whose-It and Whats-Her-Face! Who have extremely crappy powers that don't help anyone but they are here to play into the young child demograhpic as someone they can relate to. (A blue stupid monkey jumps on Whose-It's back) And their favourite sidekick, Dumbass the space monkey! Whose purpose is to be completely idiotic and screw everything up!

(Scene changes back to title with all the Titans and the Blunder Twins standing a top it)

Narrator: Their mission, to defeat evil, right which is wrong, spread justice to the world, uphold the American way and pig out on large quatities of pizza! These are "The Teen Titans!"

(Music stops abruptly)

BB: Uh...who are the two in the yellow jumpsuits?

Raven: My hero career has hit a new time low.

Stay tuned for the Titans first adventure!


	2. Your powers are Teh Suck

Chapter Two: Your Powers are Teh Suck!

Narrator: In a dark and scary place of evil, an evil madman concocts a plan of evil to evily destroy his enemies in an evil way with his supreme evilness of evil that seeps through his evil mind of evil! Here he sits upon his throne...if evil!

Slade: My plans for world domination will never succeed unless I destroy this city. My only hope is to send one of my lackluster minons to do my dirty work. Perhaps this Rock Guy will do the trick. (Presses button and out comes a giant slab of rock) Now go out and do my bidding!

(Rock thing begins to walk in general direction)

(Scene Change!)

Narrator: Meanwhile at Titans Tower...

Robin: Hey everyone, boy it sure is a super day today huh guys!

Starfire: Robin why are you wearing shorts that show off a great amount of your legs then normal?

Robin: I have no idea. And don't ask too many question star you're a woman. You just look sensible and tame in that slightly more modest purple wonder woman-clone outfit.

Star: What? (Eyes glow with fury)

Robin: Wait Star! Don't kill me! It was in the script!

(Star pounces on him and begins to pummel him senseless, Cyborg marches in from the kitchen)

Cyborg: Hey Y'all, I made us some chicken pot pie! Y'all want to try a slice and get all funky in the hood brothers?

BB: Dude why are you talking like that? And what happen to you, you have hair on one side and all the blue stuff on your armour has been turned into silver steel.

Cy: (Looks at self) I have no idea. What's with the red and white uniform?

BB: (Looks at his costume) Ah crap now I clash!

(Raven walks over wearing the same costume but the leotard looks more like a toga or robe, she still has a cloak though)

Raven: Its because of GR's stupid laser beam zapping us all into a crappy 1960's superhero cartoon, where stereotypes are everywhere, scenes repeat themselves over and over again to save money and a voice of god jerk like narrator tell the entire story in an overly dramatic manner.

Narrator: I help advance the story

Raven: No you just never shut up.

Narrator: Well without me no one would know what was going on.

Raven: Kids aren't that dumb. They can comprehend rational thought

Narrator: You keep thinking that.

BB: So how do we get out of here?

Raven: I don't know, but I will find a way out of this hell hole of a cartoon show.

(Star emerges out from behind counter dragging Robin behind her by his cape)

Star: Does this mean that what Robin says is not what he means?

Raven: I can only assume that the beam that hit us is slowly affecting us as well. Because our surrounding have changed we are now stuck acting like the stereotypes we're based off of.

BB: So Robin's the overly charismatic and dull leader, Star's the underused woman lead, Cy's the black guy, I'm comic relief and you're...exactly what are you?

Raven: I think I've been effect by having my power slightly depleted making me less stronger then any of the male leads.

Cy: What makes you say that?

Raven: Something is blocking my sensing abilities, its making it difficult to search for a way out of here and, whatever it is, its also hindering my other abilities as well.

Robin: (Gets up and rubs head) Ow... (Snaps out of it) Well team we better get cracking and find a solution to this problem. Nothing can stop us if we put our minds to it.

Cy: What are you an afterschool special.

Raven: We're stuck in one remember?

Cy: Oh right.

Narrator: At this moment the Blunder Twins and Dumbass enter the scene.

(Blunder Twins and Dumbass the monkey come through the door)

Whose-It: Hey guys! How's it going?

Robin: Great, nothing could be better. Don't you all just love America!

Whats-Her-Face: Sure do!

Dumbass: Eek Eek.

Whose-It: got that right Dumbass

Cy: Yo elf eared white foo's who you and why you in our hood?

BB: Now Cyborg's a blaxplotation film, just our luck.

Whose-It: We're the Blunder Twins Cyborg.

Whats-Her-Face: The two heroes on the show kids can actually relate to.

Whose-It: we also have a space monkey.

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

Star: I do not recall you ever existing in our home before.

Whose-It: We've been here all the time Star.

Whats-Her-Face: Sure have!

Whose-It: And we've had loads of fun helping you stop bad guys and the like.

Whats-Her-Face: And we've enjoyed every second of it.

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

Whose-It: That's right Dumbass!

Raven: So what are your powers?

Whose-It: Watch this!

(Stick rings on their fingers together)

Both: Blunder Twins! Unite!

Whats-Her-Face: Form of an elephant!

(Turns into Elephant)

Whose-It: Form of a Bucket of Water!

(Turns into bucket of water)

(The Titans all stare at them)

Robin: Amazing! What awesome power! I've never seen-

BB: Hello! I turn into Animals all the time!

Robin: Oh right.

Whats-Her-Face: Well at least I can talk as an Elephant

BB: Can you use your primal strength to destroy a whole legion of bad guys?

Whats-Her-Face: Oh no that would be wrong, violence is icky.

Raven: Here's a question, what good is your brother as a bucket of water?

Whose-It: Watch this!

(Whats-Her Face sucks up Whose-It's Water through her trunk)

Whats-Her-Face: Now I can carry him and the bucket to wherever there is trouble.

(Titan's mouths drop to the floor)

Cy: Oh...my god.

BB: You two are sick!

Whats-Her-Face: What?

Raven: You sucked your twin through your nose!

(Squirts whose it back into bucket)

Whose-It: I don't see your point.

Raven: You don't think its just a little disturbing?

Star: What is the purpose of the monkey?

Whats-Her-Face: To screw things up and give everyone an animal character to laugh at. Kids love animals.

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

Robin: so basically your only purpose of being here is to create characters for the children at home to relate to so your powers are so crappy no one can possibly use them efficently.

Whose-It: Yeah pretty much.

Robin: Well then... You're just what we need then. Welcome to the Teen Titans!

BB: Oh you gotta be joking.

Narrator: suddenly the alarm sounds!

(Alarm goes off)

Robin: The Evil Alert! There is evil a foot!

BB: Wait, since when is it called an evil alert?

(Titans rush over to view screen where a cop with a scottish accent comes on)

Cop: Teen Titans, this is officer Mcreedy. An evil monster be down here. And he's a wrecking everything up in his way! You got to get down here now before he destroys everything in the city! Hurry Lad n' Lassies there isn't much time!

Robin: We're on our way officer! Titans Away! (Runs out door)

BB: That doesn't have the same ring to it.

Blunder Twins: Blunder Twins unite!

Whats-Her-Face: Form of an eagle!

Whose-It: Form of a bucket of water!

(Eagle carries bucket outside)

Cy: Didn't he just turn into a bucket?

Raven: I don't care, come on!

(SCENE CHANGE!)

Narrator: Meanwhile Downtown...

Random Civilian: Run for your lives!

(Large crowd of people run away as Cinderblock looking like he was made with a celluloid animation camera smashes cars and buildings)

Woman: Save my baby!

Bussiness dude: Look at him! He's completely made of Rock!

Guy on street: Look at him destroy those cars with such verocity!

Man: Watch as I point out all the obvious points of this scene!

(Titans arrive on busted up street and stand against Cinderblock)

Whose-It: Wow this one looks like a real hard ROCKER!

Whats-Her-Face: Good one Whose-It.

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

BB: That joked sucked, and I know sucky jokes.

Robin: Come on team lets beat down this giant brick for brains monster.

Cy: I heard that! Its clobbering time!

(Over in Marvel Universe the Thing goes ballistic)

Thing: Copyright infringement! I own that catchphrase you Mother F--ker!

(Back in DC)

Cy: Fine, Booyah my brothers!

(Cy rushes up to Cinderblock but get knocked away with a bonk sound effect, Cinderblock roars)

Robin: Time to put this guy on ice!

(Throws ice disk that freezes Cinderblock's leg for two seconds and he breaks free. Star hits him and a bonk sound effect appears. Cinderblock stumbles over onto the ground but get back up quickly.)

BB: Now its my turn! I'm gonna-

(Blunder Twins cut in front)

Blunder twins: Blunder Twins Unite!

BB: HEY! No fair!

Whats-Her-Face: Form of a Kangaroo!

Whose-It: Form of a bucket of Water!

(Whose-It turns into Bucket and Whats-Her-Face uses her Kangaroo powers to kick him at Cinderblock. Attack has no effect. Cinderblock roars and the scene looks vaguely familar to when he roared before.)

What-Her-Face: Uranus, it didn't work!

Raven: You threw a damn bucket at a giant F--king rock monster! What made you think it would work?

(Whose-It slinks back as Water)

Whose-It: I tried making him slip but he just stepped on me and it hurt. Ow.

Raven: Oh screw this I'm the most powerful here! Azarath Metrion Zinthos! (Nothing happens) What the F? Where's the super cool dark magic attack I do? Damn my offensive attacks must of been taken away or blocked! Maybe I can...(Points finger at Cinderblock and a zap comes out, but it just knicks him and does nothing) This is Bulls--t.

(Robin start whacking Cinderblock with his stick, and it works until Cinderblock grabs it and breaks it in half

Robin: Holy inconvience Titans! He has broken my staff!

Cy: Yeah we all just saw that, you don't need to annouce it to anyone

(Cinderblock bonks Robin away)

BB: Okay this time I'm gonna change into a Tricera-

(Blunder Twins jump in front of him)

Blunder Twins: Blunder Twins Unite!

BB: Oh come on! I haven't even attacked yet!

Whats-Her-Face: Form of an Elephant!

Whose-It: Form of a Bucket of water!

Cy: Not this again!

(Whats-Her-Face sucks Whose-It up through her trunk and squirts him at Cinderblock. Attack has no effect. Cinderblock roars again in what appears to be the same scene we saw the last time this happened. Whose-It slinks back as Water)

Raven: Well that worked as well as the last attack you tried

Whats-Her-Face: We need to change our strategy Whose-It.

Whose-It: But how?

Whats-Her-Face: Freeze yourself and become a giant Ice Missile then Star can launch you at that monster.

Whose-It: Okay! (Turns into ice missile and Star picks him up)

Robin: Go get him Star! Make this monster taste frozen water!

Star: That was one of the stupidest puns in your history friend Robin, and even me in my naivety know it. (Throws ice missile that Cinderblock just punches and shatters. ice pieces melt and Whose-It returns to Whats-Her-Face as water...again!)

What-Her-Face: That should have worked! I don't get it?

Raven: Next time take into the consideration that ICE BREAKS!

BB: Can I please attack the monster now?

(Star bonks Cinderblock on the head a few times but then Cinderblock bonks her away. She doesn't hit anything she just gets bonked. Cy starts punching at Cinderblock's leg but to no effect because the monster is really strong.)

Cy: It is no use, he's too powerful!

BB: Uh, duh! Obviously.

(Cinderblock bonks Cy away and Roars in the same manner he did before with the same background and foreground as before)

Whats-Her-Face: I have an idea!

Raven: Does it involve turning into an animal and then using Whose-It in the form of a bucket of water by throwing him at Cinderblock?

Whats-Her-Face: Yes.

(Raven pauses)

Raven: You both suck.

BB: Thats it I'm killing the monster myself!

(Turns into T-Rex and Cinderblock roars again...and the scene still looks the same as it was when he roared before)

Robin: Okay this is getting old.

(Beastboy knocks Cinderblock over on his ass and pounds him into the ground with his dino foot. Cinderblock is defeated)

Whats-Her-Face: So much violence!

Whose-It: So terrible!

Raven: He was destroying the city people!

Whats-Her-Face: But does that make stopping him like that right?

Raven: Sweet Jesus I need to kill something now.

Robin :Well done team, we defeated Cinderblock! His sequence of similar roars that have no variety because we're on a budget will plague us no more! The city is safe.

BB :What do you mean WE? I was the only who did any real damage!

Cy: He does have a point.

Star: My blows were greatly diminished from what I could inflict before.

Raven: And I couldn't use my powers

Cy: Not mention every attack I used sucked ass.

Robin: Didn't I at least help?

Raven: Not really, but at least your attacks made sense and at least irratated Cinderblock. These two yellow suited idiots just kept throwing the same crap at him.

Whose-It: What about Dumbass? He helped too.

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

Cy: Helped how! He didn't even fight! He just stood there like an idiot throughout everything!

Raven: Because of the stereotyping effects of Rage's beam we've all been extremely downsized in power because we are either women or black. Because Robin's has no powers, his punches are rather weak by contrast now. He's become more... AGE APPORIATE!

Titans: GASP!

Raven: Now he pulls all his punches so nothing he hits is seriously injured. That and most of his gadgets sucked anyway.

Robin: HEY! My gadgets do not suck!

Raven: Okay sorry, but lets face it you don't have a good variety.

Robin: I can make my Birdarang into a sword.

Narrator: Sorry, no nasty pointy swords allowed. Kids might decide to play with them and stuff. You could poke an eye out. Only big metal sticks for you!

Robin: Damn, that was the one cool thing in my damn inventory.

Raven: Beastboy's attacks also have their throws pulled, but because he was such a large animal at the time it didn't matter. Thats why he could beat Cinderblock. In any case the beam has decreased all our powers, making our jobs even more difficult.

Star: How do you know all of this friend Raven?

Raven: Beastboy's been making me watch saturday morning cartoons with him every week. Its how he gets me up in the morning.

BB: I think she's starting to like them.

Raven: Only because of over exposure. That and I find it hard to say no to you considering we're boyfriend and girlfriend now.

BB: Living in denial Rae.

Robin: So we're all at decreased strength because we're forced to make things age apporiate. That sucks.

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

Whose-It: I hear you Dumbass.

Whats-Her-Face: You said it!

BB: (To other Titans) I'm really starting to hate those two.

Cy: Damn straight brother.

BB: Would you stop talking like that?

(Maniacal laughter sow up out of nowhere)

Voice: FOOLS! Prepare to suffer the wrath of Slade!

(Slade's picture appears on giant TV screen, everyone looks surprised)

Robin: Its Slade! Our arch-enemy!

Whose-It: Oh No! Now the bad guy has his own TV channel!

Whats-Her-Face: I hope we don't get prempted!

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

Raven: At this point I'd like to see that happen. That way no one can see me like this.

Slade: Fools! Face the wrath of my other minon! Far more powerful then Cinderblock! Dr. Light attack!

(Dr. Light shows up on floating platform)

Dr. Light: Prepare to face the fury of light!

BB: Oh come on! Him! He's the suckiest villian ever!

Dr. Light: But now I have this sweet super light laser that will zap you all into obivilon and then I can take over this city and then the world!

Raven: So thats your plan.

Dr. Light: Yes I even drew up a list. First step is kill Titans and take over the city, second step is..., the third step is take over world!

Robin: You didn't think this through much huh?

Dr. Light: No but I'm still a master genius of evil! I'll destroy all of you and defeat you with evil because I'm evil and-(Rambles on and on etc.)

Cy: I can't attack that foo dawgs! My feet are stuck.

Robin: Me niether

Raven: Its the monolguing effect we can't attack till he's done.

Whose-It: Looks like we're in a bit of a jam.

Whats-Her-Face: Got that right.

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

BB: Would you three shut up!

(Dr. Light finishes monologue and starts blasting at the Titans who scatter as dispraportionate and poorly aimed shots hit around them but not at them. Robin get closes enough and sock Dr. Light across the jaw and he drops the laser)

Dr. Light: Time to make my escape!

Robin: Quick, we need to catch him in some kind of net before he escapes!

Blunder Twins: Blunder Twins unite!

Whats-Her-Face: Form of a monkey!

Whose-It: Form of a Bucket of Water!

(Whats-Her-Face throws Whose-It at Dr. Light but misses and he escapes)

Robin: I said net! NET! N-E-T! NET! Not a damn bucket you idiots!

Whats-Her-Face: But we tried our best.

Cy: Girl you can't use that power of yours creatively in the slightest and your brother there can't turn into anything except a damn bucket o' water and freeze himself.

Raven: Is there anything he can turn into BESIDES a bucket of water.

Whose-It: I can turn into a bucket of ice!

Raven: Oh yeah like thats "really" different.

Whats-Her-Face: Look we know our powers suck...well mine aren't completely terrible his are the ones that suck.

Whose-It: Oh and whose the one who can turn into a freaking lion or tiger and doesn't even attack anyone when she is one because she's a pacifist! Hell you always just throw me like I'm some kind of bullet to you!

Whats-Her-Face: I don't want to hurt people Whose-It.

Whose-It: Oh so I have to do all the crappy work huh? Is that it? You get to stay far away from the bad guy while I collide head on he stomps on my ass a couple of times.

Whats-Her-Face: Its not my fault I don't want to hurt living things, maybe if your power didn't suck ass-

Whose-It: Maybe if you weren't such F--king bitch who made others fight her battles-

Dumbass: Eek Eek!

Whose-It: Oh stay out of this Dumbass!

Whats-Her-Face: Yeah shut up Dumbass ya dumbass!

Whose-It: Don't shout at him!

Whats-Her-Face: I'll shout at anyone I feel like!

Whose-It: Well if mom was here she'd rip you a new one you little cu-

Whats-Her-Face: OUR MOTHER'S DEAD YOU BASTARD!

Whose-It: (Gasps)

(Short pause)

Whats-Her-Face: I'm sorry Whose-It, I just...well...we took it too far again.

Whose-It: Yeah your right, let kiss and make up.

(Both star kissing each other)

Star: In the name of all that's holy! AHH!

Cy: I need to hurl so bad!

Raven: My eyes!

Robin: Make it stop someone! Make it stop!

(BB takes light's laser and zaps the two of them as they stand there. They scream in agony but no one cares. Blunder Twins turn to ashes)

BB: Theres only enough room on this team for one changeling bitches, and three shapeshifters just won't do at all. So suck it!

Dumbass: Eek Eek! Eek Eek! Eek Eek! Eek Eek!

(BB turns laser on Dumbass and kills him two)

BB: There now they're all gone. I don't care anymore. Let'em rot in hell for their suckiness. Screw this I'm going home.

Raven: Me too.

Star: This has been a most disturbing day to say the least friends.

Cy: I need to wash my eyes out with soap.

Robin: I'm so going to make GR pay for this.

Narrator: And so the day was saved once again by "THE TEEN TITANS!" Join us next time for a another rosing episode where we shall reveal the newest additon to the team as well! Until next time loyal TV viewers buy all our promotional Teen Titans crap! This show is sponsored by "Crap Toys Industries." Bringing you low quality crap for shows like this. "Crap Toys Industries." We make crap!


	3. Fish! Get Your Fish Here!

Chapter 3: Fish! Get your Fish here!

Narrator: At Titans Tower, The Titans have called up General Rage.

GR: So you guys killed Whose-It And Whats-Her-Face huh?

Star: And the space monkey. Do not forget that one as well.

GR: Why'd you guys do that?

BB: Because they were sucky heroes.

GR: Well unfortunately BB that was the point. There always had to be one or two sucky heroes on these old Superhero shows. That's the formula.

Robin: Why is it the formula?

GR: I don't know, I guess its suppose to make you guys seem smarter. Considering how you're all going to suck horribly when it comes to fighting in upcoming battles. But because you killed the last two morons now I have to bring in somebody else.

Narrator: Just then Aqualad enters the 'T' Tower

(Aqualad enters room)

Aqualad: Hey guys.

Raven: Oh you're friggin kidding me.

Cy: You stuck us with Aqualad!

GR: Yes, what did you think I was going give you an actually cool superhero like Herald or those spanish speaking twins?

Aqualad: What do you mean I'm not cool! Look at the mullet and the muscular body!

GR: And the Red shorts and matching blue T-shirt.

Aqualad: What? (Looks at clothing) The hell!

GR: Oh relax, its only slightly worse then the other costume.

Aqualad: Why are you doing this to me?

GR: Because Aqua, despite the fact Robin is a stupid turd...

Robin: HEY!

GR: ...At least he's useful. And he's Batman's side-kick so he has that going for him. You however are a pretty boy smart alec loser. That and your powers suck.

Aqualad: I can talk to fish! And I can control water and stuff.

GR: Oh yippie a di do! Well too bad kid cause that second water controlling power is out of comission. At time you'll even forget you actually have it. Just like these guys you've been decreased in power.

Aqualad: This isn't fair!

GR: Well maybe before you go into the hero bussiness you should have looked for a better mentor. Your Aquaman's sidekick! Aquaman! There is no suckier hero then Aquaman.

Aqualad: But he rules Atlantis and has super strength and has hightened senses and...

GR: Oh please Superman could kick his ass, so could Batman, hell even Robin could beat him.

Robin: Is that a compliment?

GR: Close enough. Anyway lets face it, nobody really likes you Aqualad.

Aqualad: Thats not true, Raven and Star were htting on me in my premiere episode!

Raven: Actually we were both suffering from an OOC Virus.

Star: I would never do the googy eyes at anyone other then Robin.

Raven: And the fact that back then I was developing a crush on Beastboy since the Nevermore incident didn't help you either.

GR: Maybe if you didn't look so gay you'd have more prospective girlfriends.

Aqualad: Oh shut up. I don't look gay.

Robin: You're wearing super short red bathing trunks.

Aqualad: Least I'm not wearing shorts that show off my thighs faggot.

Robin: KILL!

(Aqualad and Robin go into a sissy fight)

GR: Pft, losers. Well butt nuggets you better get used to Fish dude there cause you're stuck with him and his suckiness till this little experiment is over.

BB: This is bullcrap! I can't wear this outfit man! It clashes! I look like a freaking Christmas card! I'm Red, White and Green! Couldn't you have stuck me in the purple and white costume? That's far more cooler.

GR: Nope, the fact that I love watching you all suffer is too much of a factor. See ya.

Narrator: And with that General Rage fades from the screen.

(GR's screen fades and the Titans stop the Robin and Aqualad sissy fight.)

Raven: Alright Aqualad, despite the fact no one likes you we're stuck with you till this is over. What powers do you still have?

Aqualad: My water breathing and telepathic fish abilities.

Cy: (sarcastic) Oh yeah, those are so useful. Cept when they do a drive by in the hood dawgs. No way a damn salmon gonna stop a gat gee! We'd get wasted my brothers! Damn you got a bunch of crap-ass powers bitch.

BB: Jesus Christ man stop! We're gonna get sued.

Cy: I can't! Its the stereotyping effects! God the NAACP is gonna blacklist me for sure.

Aqualad: I just don't like being forced to appear in a story that treats me like s--t. I keep getting called gay and a loser and get labeled as a sucky hero everytime I show up here.

Robin: Well at least your more useful then the blunder Twins

(All titans laugh unenthusiatically in a somewhat forced manner)

Star: Um, question I believe the proper Earth term is...what the hell was that?

Raven: Oh crap, its one of those "Forced Laugh" things. It happens when someone makes a stupid pun or joke during an episode. Either that or its just completely random.

BB: Dude, I'm hating this more and more.

Narrator: Suddenly the Titan's Alarm sounds!

(Alarm sounds)

Robin: Thats the evil alert! Quick, to the view screen!

Cy: No need to be overly dramatic boy.

(Officer Mcreedy's face appears)

Mcreedy: Titan lads and lassies! There's a robbery down at the bank! We be needin your help!

Robin: we're on our way sir! Titans away! (Runs out door)

Aqualad: Thats a sucky catchphrase.

Narrator: Later at the bank...

Bank Robber: Say we have no super powers what so ever, you think its a good idea to steal stuff in a town with super powered teens who can kick our pathetic asses.

Crinimal: Oh shut up, I know what I'm doing.

(Robin swings into bank)

Robin: Stop crinimals!

Bank Robber: Oh no! Robin! The Boy Teen Wonder!

Crinimal: Uh yeah duh, I'm not stupid you don't need to pronounce his name.

(Other Titans show up)

BB: Dude, no fair we can't keep up with you. Stop running out so fast!

(Star arrives with Aqualad)

Star: Sorry for my lateness, but Aqualad needed me to fly him over here. Apparently I'm stuck as his chafuer.

Crinimal: I'm not going to get my ass beat by a bunch of kids. Especially not when two of them are wearing short shorts.

Aqualad: Mine cover me slightly better then his. I can see Robin's freaking bulge. Now thats just wrong.

Robin: Oh shut it you fruit.

Bank Robber: Oh lets just shoot them.

(Bad guys start shooting at heroes and they scatter)

Cy: You ain't bringing that s--t in my hood. Eat sonic cannon suckas!

(Stick out arm and nothing happens)

Cy: Damn where the hell my gat bitch!

Raven: I told you! We've lost most of our powers! How many Times must I tell you?

Aqualad: I'll summon my fishy animal friends to help us.

Narrator: And with his telepathic abilities, Aqualad sends out a mesage to the nearest fish creatures nearby.

(Little cheap circular things exit out of Aqualad's head and head to a pet shop across the street. Two goldfish break out of their bowl and start flopping over to the bank)

Aqualad: Well thats awkward.

Robin: Weak.

(Raven tries to lift a chair with her mind an smash it over the two robber's heads)

Raven: Curses! My powers are being downplayed once more! I can't use my powers to levitate stuff, not even small liftable office chairs!

Bank Robber: Quick get the money and run!

(Both Crinimals try to make it to the door, Starfire blocks them)

Star: Not so fast evil doers!

Crinimal: Outta the way!

Star: Put the money down or my voice shall rise considerably.

BB :What are you doing? Punch them!

Star: I cannot, my arms will not lift away from my hips! Curse this show's low budget and pandering to young audiences!

(Bad Guys just walk past Star and go outside)

Cy: You ain't getting far fools (Grabs the wheel off a car and throws them in the general direction the two robbers are running but doesn't really take time to aim or look where they are. Amazingly he catches both)

Bank Robber: How is this possible? There's suppose to be a hub cap! He couldn't have removed them all that fast!

Robin: Good work team! We triumph again!

Narrator: Suddenly a thunderous noise erupts from the ground as a vague plot twist emerges!

(Ground opens up to reveal a large drill machine with a mole thing on top)

Mole Thing: Behold! The Underminer!

BB: Hey! You were in the last scene of that movie about super heroes! You know the one made by the dudes who made that Toy movie

Underminer: Yes, I was. And I have come here to wreak untold havoc for no reason!

Aqualad: Not if I can help it!

Cy: Yo white fish man! What are we to you? Ya hos?

BB: What does that mean?

Cy: I have no idea.

Aqualad: Fish buds, to me!

Narrator: And with that Aqualad summons more of his fish friends from the local pet store telepathically.

(Two little crabs walk over to the drill machine and start pecking it with their claws to no avail)

Aqualad: Ah damn, look can we take this fight down to the pier or docks or something? Cause I'm really out of my element here.

(Underminer throws a fish net on Aqualad)

Underminer: HA HA HA! Now I have captured your friend! Surrender or he will be destroyed.

(Aqualad is brought up to Underminer's seat in the drill by crane)

Aqualad: Guys help!

Robin: Hmm, group huddle!

(Titans go into huddle)

Aqualad: Guys! This is no time to discuss. Help me out!

Robin: Do we really have to save him?

Star: Well it is our job. We are entitled to do so.

Cy: Piece of underwater white trash can go eat s--t for all I care.

BB: And his powers suck ass. I mean, who calls crabs to destroy a giant drill? I can turn into a friggin elephant or gorilla and smash it to bits. I have free range over a wide area, land, air and sea. Take him out of the water and he can't beat up an elderly person.

Robin: Good point

Aqualad: GUYS! Help me out here!

Raven: Well if we don't save him then we'll get stuck with an even worse hero next time won't we?

Robin: Who can be worse then Aqualad?

Narrator: At this time Robin has a dream sequence to ponder this question

(Robin imagunes himself in Titans tower with Superboy on the couch drinking beer and watching porn)

Robin: Uh, Conner, did you clog the toliet?

Superboy: Maybe. Why?

Robin: Because, well, now its overflowing and its starting to smell.

Superboy: You should do something about that then. (Drinks a can of beer and smashes it over his head)

Robin: Right...so anyway did the alarm go off while we were out?

Superboy: I think so.

Robin: What do you mean you think so?

Superboy: Well there was this call from Homeland Security about aliens or some s--t. I told him to piss off.

Robin: WHAT?

Superboy: Oh relax it wasn't anyone important, just some dick wad army general from the pentagon.

(Robin looks at him with a scowl)

Superboy: What? I got all day to jack around! I mean I do that, I make time for it, but I got schedules you know. I can't always pick up your work man, geez. By the way, is your girl Star free later. I'd like show her a few things...in my pants! Ha Ha Ha! Yeah, thats sweet.

Narrator: Robin exits his dream sequence at this time

Robin: Okay, we save Aqualad then.

(Titans rush the Drill machine)

Underminer: You puny surface dwellers are no match for me and my awesome steam powered robots

(Several steam-powered robots with drill in their arms pop up from the ground)

BB: Oh great, henchmen. We're so screwed.

Raven: No Beastboy, these henchmen aren't human meaning its perfectly okay to wail on them conceedingly!

Narrator: But suddenly a rift in time opens up and a golden robot with a bowling pin for a mouth appears through it.

(The Robot is Crow from MST3K)

Crow: This is a techno-racism! Absolute techno-racism! So its okay to kill the robot henchmen but you aren't allowed to make a human hencman even get a bloody nose! Curse you and your anti-robot elitest human laws!

Narrator: Suddenly another rift in the time space continium opens and a robot with a cylindrical body, stretchy arms, a bottle of beer in one hand, a cigar in his mouth and a small anttena walks through

(Bender from Futurama)

Bender: Yeah, you stupid bunch of fleshy humans! You and your damn oppression of us robots won't go on any longer! I demand that this techno-racist additude stop before I decide to take action myself in the form of mass human genocide caused by killbots of death!

Underminer: Hey, people who aren't in this show. Would you please let me continue my plans for world conquest?

Robin: And our heroic attempt to stop him.

Crow: He's no better then you guiys!

Bender: Ensalving these innocent steam powered henchbots to do his dirty work. He's nothing more then a slave driver!

Underminer: Okay this is fricken ridiculous, robots kill them all!

(Steampowered Robots attack them, Bender chickens out and ducks into a dumpster while Crow spazzs out completely, his eyeballs fall out of their socket while he does so. Bender escapes back into his time rift and so does Crow)

BB: Who were those guys?

Robin: Who cares, Robot army of death remember.

BB: Oh yeah, right.

(Titans begin to fight steam powered Robots, They don't actually break them into pieces but they punch them out and make them fall to the ground where they smoke and stuff. Robin manages to fight his way up to the Underminer)

Robin: Eat my fist you- (Fist stops in mid air) Can't...punch...bad guy!

Raven: He isn't a robot! You can't cause him physical harm!

Robin: Oh this is bull!

Aqualad: Just hit the switch that releases me from this net man!

Robin: Whatever.

(Flips switch)

Underminer: NO!

(Aqualad falls flat on his ass)

Aqualad: OW! That friggin hurt!

(Undemriner is caught in Robin's bolas he got from his belt)

Robin: So I can catch him...but I can't punch him?

Raven: Pretty much.

Robin: Holy Friggin Censorship Titans, this is a load of crap.

Star: Nevertheless we are victorious against the evil robots and their Underminer master!

BB: And we're still stuck with Aqualad.

Robin: Just think about how much worse it could be Beastboy.

BB: What do you mean?

Narrator: At this moment Beastboy ponders the question given to him by Robin

(Beastboy imagines a room with a guy a Superboy hogging his game console)

BB: You know you've been playing for tweleve hours.

Superboy: Yeah, and I'm sick of you hovering over me.

BB: Have you ever considered the concept of sharing?

Superboy: No.

BB: I'm just gonna have some Tofu

Superboy: Oh that wasn't the crappy white stuff in there right? Cause I threw it all out. I needed to make room for the beer. Thats okay right?

BB: (Sarcastic) Oh yeah of course, I mean why have healthy nutrious food when you can kill your liver slowly and painfully.

Superboy: Knew you'd understand. By the way I saw that Raven chick in her underwear, think you can snag me pair of that. Cause she looked hot.

BB: She's my girlfriend Conner.

Superboy: I know, I just don't really care.

Narrator: At this time Beastboy exits his dream sequence

BB: Fine we'll stick with Aqualad, although his powers suck.

Aqualad: Good to be on the team

Robin :Whatever, just try not to get in the way alright.

Narrator: What next for our brave Teen Heroes stay tuned to find out!


	4. Super Screw Ups

Just a small note to some reviewers

Black Mage: I find your lack of faith disturbing. Only joking, you see a good comic can keep things like this going, as long as he keep true to the source material and finds a way to make it funny to you the viewer. Don't worry, I have some trick up my sleeve.

Adiba: You can damn me, but I don't care because your review is pointless and doesn't explain anything. So suck it.

Chapter 4: Super Screw-Ups

Narrator: On an oil derrick of shore an evil plot is hatching, this evil plot is of course being caused by an evil man of extreme evilness.

(Gizmo laugh menacially as he start up the oil derrick's drill)

Gizmo: Once I get all the oil crud I'll sell it at extremely high prices and make mega bucks. Friggin awesome man.

Narrator: But then the Titans arrive out of no where

(Titans appear on oil rig completely at random)

BB: How the hell did we get here?

Cy: I was all like pimp my ride G. Hows else I's going to kick ass in the hood with my hos bitch!

Raven: I think the stereotyping effects are getting worse.

Robin: Halt evil dooer or we shall have to take you in for your evilness.

Gizmo: No way, its my oil now. Not yours

Robin: That oil belongs to the American daily commuter of our nations freeways...also Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney: Weargh! Weargh!

Robin: Please, Mr. Vice-President, don't do that.

Gizmo: You'll have to beat me to get your precious oil back losers! Prepare to eat laser crud snuffers!

Narrator: Popping a laser out he aims at our heroes and fires several shots but he failed his standard firearms test so he missed.

Robin: We got to stop him from using that drill to dig up the oil.

Cy: I gotta plan dog. Stay low I'll be back. (Jogs off)

Robin: Hey um...where's Starfire?

Narrator: Just then Starfire arrives with Aqualad in her clurches

Star: Apparently Aqualad must be carried everywhere. Because he's too lazy otherwise.

Aqualad: Silence you woman, I'm here and that all that matters. Now lets get this crazy party started. Come to me my fishy friends!

Narrator: With a telepathic cry Aqualad sends a message to a bunch of dolphins. They swim over to the large oil platform but Aqulad realizes as soon as they arrive that the platform is too high up for any seas life to be of use.

Aqualad: Ah crap. (Ducks opposing laser beam

Gizmo: Ha Ha Ha! Stupid hero cludgeheads! The oil is mine! (Looks over to drill and notices its gone) Where's my drill?

Cyborg: Behind you sucka!

Narrator: Cyborg uses his super powerful strength to hurl the drill at Gizmo. The bald headed mad man jumps away just in time for the drill to smash the controls. The drill then falls over on a few large oil tanks that starts leaking into the water!

Cyborg: Oh shicnick brothers. Screwed that up.

BB: This is bad right?

Robin: Yes its bad! It poluting the water!

Cy: This ain't my fault of course.

Raven: You threw the drill that caused this.

Cy: How the hell was I supposed to know this would happen! A brother can make mistakes you know.

Gizmo: If I can't have this oil then no one can! (Gizmo presses a button on his suit) Now you shall all die horribly as this entire rig explodes in thirty seconds! I've planted bombs on all the support columns!

Robin: We need to stop that explosion and fast!

Star: I shall do so.

Narrator: With that Starfire goes down to the rigs supports and removes all of the bombs with lighting speed.

Star: Now where should I put these devices. Hmm, oh well. (Drops them in the water)

(KA BOOM)

Narrator: The preceeding explosion suddenly ignites the leaking oil and the entire rig!

Robin: Ah crap.

Star: Uh...whoops

Aqualad: Don't worry I have a plan! Get yourselves to safety, I shall put out the fire.

Raven: So were trusting you.

Aqualad: Got a better idea.

Raven :Well you can't possibly make things worse.

Narrator: The Titans head back to the T tower whislt Aqualad jumps into the water and tries to put out the fire. He calls for his sea animal friends and order them to jump high into the air. The resulting splash creates a tidal wave that sweeps across the fire in the water and puts it out.

Aqualad: Yes! I did it! I'm not useless!

Narrator: However...

Aqualad: Oh no, you're joking me.

Narrator: The tidal wave continues to travel. It is so immense that once it hits the coast line all of the western Seasboard is now covered in water.

Aqualad: Oh dear.

(Later, Aqualad contacts the other Titans on the view screen)

Aqualad: I managed to put out the fire guys, but I kinda sorta flooded all of the West Coast of the United States. That's okay right? Right?

(Raven hits the turn off button)

Raven: Idiot.

Robin: Don't worry everyone! I have a plan!

(goes over to real big super computer)

Narrator: Using his supreme hacking skills...

BB: Since when did he have that?

Narrator: I just added it.

BB: You can do that?

Narrator: I can do anything I want I'm the Narrator

BB: Whatever

Narrator: Using his supreme hacking skills, Robin hijack a large telescopic lens satelite in space and points the rays down at the west coast sealine.

Robin: now we just wait for the water to evaporate.

(2 DAYS LATER)

BB: Is the water gone yet?

Robin: No

BB :How about now?

Robin: No

BB :Now?

Robin: No.

BB: Now?

Robin: No.

BB: Now then?

Robin: NO! For the love of god its still there geez!

Cy: Yo whitey bird boy, its the NASA again. they want you to stop using their satelite to slowly evaporate the water.

Robin: Tell them I'm not here.

Star: Robin, your plan is rather slow. Is there any thing we can do to speed the process up?

Robin: No, this will work fine...absolutely fine.

(A few hours later)

Robin: Well the water is gone now.

BB: What about the satelite its leaving a big burning hole in Golden Gate Park.

Robin: Don't worry I'll fix that.

Narrator: Robin tried tyo disconnect the satelite but something goes horribly wrong.

(Beeping sound heard from computer)

Robin: Whoops.

Raven: Whoops? What do you mean whoops?

Robin: I kinda activated a program within the satelite that turns it into a super destructive concentrated ray of death.

BB: Huh?

Robin: We're ants, its a magnifying glass.

BB: Sucks.

Narrator: And so the Satelite goes on a burning rampage thouigh San Francisco destroying all in its path! The Titans watch helplessly from theit view screen.

(KA-BLAM)

BB: There goes Fisherman's Wharf.

Raven :Great now I have to solve the problem that you idots couldn't. I'll be back.

Narrator: And so with a flash Raven transports herself inside the satelite

Raven: So in other words I just transported myself into a satelite high above the planet Earth in one jump. How is that possible?

Narrator: I don't know. I'm just reading what I write I don't expect you to understand any of it.

Raven: Whatever, I'll just find a way to take this thing out of commsion.

(Raven pulls some wires and knobs. Suddenly the telescopic lens close.)

Raven: There, no more lengthend stupidity.

Narrator: But suddenly the satelite begins to fall from the sky and straight down to earth!

Raven: What? I'm out of here!

(Transports back to T-tower)

Robin: So how'd it go?

Raven: Well...

Narrator: The Statelite crashes into an alien spacecraft on the way down and lands in a nearby park. People come to investigate and are soon confronted by a giant Alien Beast with one eye and tentacles! The Titans watch this fromt heir view screen

Raven: Whoops.

Robin: We have to stop that monster

BB: I'm the only one who didn't screw up so I'll handle this one.

Narrator: The Titans head downtown to confront this evil space monster. However Star and Aqualad take longer as usual because she has to carry him everywhere.

(Titans confront Alien space monster)

Robin: Halt evil alien! (Gets crushed by tentacle) Ow!

Aqualad: I'll get in close and try to surprise him

Cy: Yeah, go for it brother! Put a cap in his ass! (Cyborg waits till Aqualad runs out of earshot) That white fishboy is gonna die.

(Aqualad rushes mosnter from behind)

Aqualad: Surrender fiend!

(Gets grabbed in monster's tentacles)

Aqualad: Help! I'vew been captured!

Robin: Not this again!

BB: I'm not getting stuck with Superboy people. (Turns into hawk and flys straight into the monster's eye. Poking him)

Robin: Wow, that was bad actually

Narrator: The extreme pain Beastboy has caused to the space monster causes him to drop Aqualad. He begins to frail around the city destroying several residential blocks before he collapses dead on a hospital. The Titans stare on in disbelief

BB: Uh whoops.

Narrator: Later at Titans Tower...

Robin: So what did we all learn today?

Star: That not only have our powers decreased but our luck has as well, not to mention we seem to only make things worse rather then better in our fights.

Robin: Exactly, so thats why we should all consider how feasible our plans are before we lift off on the spur of the moment. That kinda what got us where we are at the moment.

(Cyborg enters)

Cy: Say dawgs, I was down stairs pimp my ride so me and my other gangbangers and pimps could go out tonite in style whislt we cap some n----rs. And I was testing out the jambox on the car when some white mutherf--ker came to door with this here envelope.

Star: I believe that was a mailman friend Cyborg.

Cy: Whatever ho, don't make me come over there and slap your ass to get up bitch!

(Star kicks Cyborg in the balls. Whilst he revies in pain Robin opens the envelope and reads it.)

Robin :Its a note from the Governor's office in Sacramento.

Note: _Dear Teen Ttians_

_We apperciate your long and hard service to keep us all safe, however recent events have caused us to take action. Although this is not an offical order and more of a request we would still like you to follow it in the future. Our request is this..._

_PLEASE STOP HELPING US_

_Thank You_

_Signed:_

_The Governor_

Raven: Great, so now everyone hates us.

Aqualad: Well at least I'm still alive.

(BB punches him to the floor)

BB: Oh shut up you little prick

(Everyone goes into a forced laugh)

Narrator: And so another day closes upon our heroes the Titans, what grand adventure awaits tommorow? Find out when we return!


	5. Generic Storyline

Chapter 5: The Inner/Outer Space Monster/Alien/Lost Civiliztion Generic Plot Line Episode

GR: Okay you guys are obviously slacking off. For one thing you refuse to actually DO anything anymore. You're letting the proper authorities handle everything! If I wanted to watch Cop shows twenty four seven I would have turned to the FOX channel.

Robin: Well we're not going to go out there and screw up people's lives for your sick amusement.

Star: Correct, everytime we try to help we just makes things worse. It is only by sheer luck and coincidence that we actually emerge victorious.

GR: Uh yeah, DUH! You don't think I know that? Who is the pop culture know it all here? Me! I stole the damn laser that caused this. I made the rules. Anyway now comes the second half of the experiment. You've already seen what the laser has done to your team and your powers, now lets see what happens to your adventures!

BB: The laser effects what crimes we have to stop too!

GR: Pretty much

Cy: I swear to god whitey, I'm gonna bust a cap in your ass when this is over.

GR: Yeah whatever Blaxplotation-man. Which reminds me, I'm introducing a new hero to your team. I'm sure you all remember him from "The Trial of Billy Jack" Parody in our first part of this series. Indian Stereotype #271!

(Indian Stereotype 271 enters)

GR: But we're lazy so we'll just call him Chief

Cheif: How.

BB: This brings back bad memories.

Robin: Drug induced dreams, wild sexy parties, waking up in a dingy hotel room with several unknown people including a stripper. Yeah, bad memories.

Aqualad: Pft, and they think I'm gay.

BB: At least you didn't have to listen to his mindless Hippie rethoric when we were doing that parody.

Aqualad: I remember it scarring us all in someway actually.

Cheif: I found it spiritually fullfilling for my people and it honoured the memory of my ancestors.

Robin: Are you sure you're a real Indian?

Cheif: Of course I am...why is the red make-up peeling off?

BB: Oh sweet mother...

GR: Anyway, Chief here has been endowed with the power of Stereotypical Indians. Like tracking and enviromental awareness.

Raven: How come no one thinks this stuff is racist?

GR: Because they're positive stereotypes...even though they have no actual basis in fact. Anyway I have to get back to Blackfire, its-

Titans: We don't want to know!

GR: Fine, just see if I share any of my sexual expeirences with you next time. Jerks.

Narrator: And with that General Rage fades from the view screen

Robin: Alrgiht guys I can only assume that something really bad is going to happen in like...five seconds. Considering we just talked to Rage about how the laser was going to start effecting our adventures.

Narrator: Suddenly the Titans Alarm goes off.

(Alarm goes off)

Robin: Evil Alert! To the view Screen!

Aqualad: We're already standing in front of it.

Robin: Oh right.

(Mcreedy comes into view)

Mcreedy: Teen Titan Lads and Lassies. We be getting reports of an alien spacehip over the city blowing up random stuff!

Robin: We're on our way!

BB: Uh quick question though, are you the only cop in town? Cause we never see anyone else call us.

Mcreedy: The city cut backs are murder boyo.

BB: I'll take that as a yes.

Robin: Titans Away! Oh and Star would you carry Aqualad again?

Star: Must I be the one forced to cater to his every wim! Why can no one else fly Aqualad to the scene of villiany?

Robin: Because you're a woman and you must be down played whenever the chance is given. You're going to hit me now aren't you?

(Star punches Robin to the floor)

Narrator: Later at the downtown district.

(Alien Spaceship contniues blowing up buildings)

Robin: We got to stop those aliens from destroying the city!

Cheif: Me make'um self big and crush them with Indian strength.

(Grows Fifty feet tall and then gets hit in the head by the ship falls to the ground unconcious.)

BB: "Big" help he was.

(Forced laughs by Titans at very bad pun BB has just made)

Robin: So now what do we do? We're all too weak to battle these aliens.

Cy: I can call up my homies from the crib to do a drive-by on them little green foos.

Robin: Nah, too messy.

Aqualad: Don't worry! I have a plan!

Robin: That's nice Aqualad. Why don't you just stand over there why the adults talk.

Aqualad: (Sad) Okay.

Narrator: As soon as Aqualad leaves the main group a beam of light comes down and sucks him up and into the alien spacship while the Titans stare on in disbelief

Robin: Oh my god! Can't he go through one chapter without getting captured!

BB: I guess some one should go help him.

(Everyone looks at Starfire)

Star: (Sighs) Friends for the next couple of weeks I shall despise and loathe all of you.

Robin: Yeah just go and save Fish Breathe.

Cy: And hurry it up Ho, else I gets my gang and we come to your house and bust it up!

Star: Please, tell where this gang is precisely?

Raven: Yeah who are they?

Cy: You find out in time bitch, you find out in time.

(Aqualad finds himself incased in a glass tube)

Aqualad: Help! I don't want to be probed!

(Two aliens with tentacles and one eye approach)

Kang: Hello foolish earthling. I am Kang and this is my sister Kodos

Kodos: (In a mans voice) Hello

Aqualad: Hey, weren't you two guys recurring and tired characters of those "Simpson's Halloween Specials?"

Kang: Yes we were.

Kodos: We told the network executives that we weren't getting enough face time as usual.

Kang: So we decided to opt out and go freelance.

Kodos: Now we roam the stars destroying everyone and everything for no good reason.

Kang: We don't know why we do it, we just do.

Kodos: Unfortunately we are strapped for cash, so we're forced to lend out our services to other alien homicidal maniacs from time to time.

Kang: Which bring us to our client at the present time, a rather small alien who has asked us to help him in the conquest of your world.

Narrator: The doors to the cockpit of the Alien Spacecraft open and walking through is small Alien with Green Skin and Purple eyes.

Zim: Puny earth creature cower before the might of your future slave master! Invader Zim!

Aqualad: Oh you're friggin kidding me.

Zim: Huh? What do you mean by that human?

Aqualad: Well I've heard of little green men...but dude...you're tiny. Seriously.

Zim: How dare you talk to me like that human! Bow down before your superior! BOW!

Aqualad: I'm in a frickin glass tube its kinda hard.

Zim: You dare defy me! Who are you?

Aqualad: I'm-

Zim: Who are you?

Aqualad: I'm-

Zim: Who are you?

Aqualad: I'm Aqua-

Zim: Who are you?

Aqualad: I-

Zim: Who are you?

Aqualad: I'm Aqualad! Jesus! I was only trying to tell you like four times now.

Zim: I knew that. Don't question my questioning methods!

Aqualad: Is that even a word?

Zim: Well if it wasn't it is now for I am Invader Zim! Now we must find a way to ransom you back to your people for their unconditional surrender.

Aqualad: Yeah good luck with that, everyone down there hates me.

Zim: Do not take me for a fool! I know you're one of Earth's greatest heroes! I've been studying you all for quite sometime.

Aqualad: So why'd you pick me?

Zim: Do not question how my evil invader mind works human it is far more efficient then yours. Now we must place you under guard if we intend to keep you safe from any form of rescue. GIR!

(Little stupid robot trudges in)

GIR: Yello!

Zim: Guard this Fishy Human with your life.

GIR: (Eyes go red) Yes Sir! (Goes back to passive blue)

Zim: Good, come Kang and Kodos, we must prepare for the human's utter destruction.

Kang: Cool

Kodos: Sounds like a kicker.

(Kang, Kodos and Zim exit room)

Aqualad: (Looks at GIR as he stares back) Uh...hi.

GIR: TACO!

Aqualad: Uh huh, right.

GIR: I like Tacos. Tacos are great. Do you like Tacos?

Aqualad: Well as long as they don't have fish in them I'm fine.

(Side of Saucer rips open revealing Starfire)

Star: Friend Aqualad I have come to save you!

(Alarm goes off and Kang and Kodos and Zim rush back into the room)

Zim: Intruder! GIR! Activate Defense mode!

(GIR walks over to hole in saucer and dives head first out of it)

Zim: Idiot. Kang, Kodos, stop the intruder!

Kodos: Sounds easy enough.

Kang: I agree.

(Each pull out slingshots and approach Starfire menacingly)

Star: I know your species and therefore I know your weaknesses.

(Starfire produces board with an nail in it from behind her back)

Kang: Aww! She's got a board with a nail in it!

Kodos: Run Kodos Run!

(Both run to the escape pod and blast themselves back into space)

Zim: Typical hired help. Well intruding scum, you may have defeated my robot and my hired mercenaries but now you must get past me! Prepare to face your immenant pasty faced doom at the hands of Invader Zim!

Aqualad: Say, while you were monologuing she freed me from the glass tube and just pressed the self-destruct button for the ship

Zim: How did I miss this?

Aqualad: Obviously you're too busy acting evil to notice anything of significance around you.

Zim: I see. Curses.

(Starfire and Aqualad escape ship as it explodes and collapses to the ground leaving a giant friggin hole there int he road)

Robin: Great work Starfire you saved Aqualad.

Cheif: I was glad to be of assitance.

Robin: I wasn't talking to you.

Cheif: You sure? Hmm, must of hit my head hard.

(Zim climbs out of wreckage and yells over at Titans)

Zim: Pitiful Humans! You may have won this round! But I shall return and then victory shall be mine! I am ZIM! (Runs off)

BB: Uhh...who was that?

Raven: What? You didn't catch his name? He was yelling it at the top of his lungs.

BB: Still don't understand what just happened.

Aqualad: Well all that matters is that I'm safe.

Robin: What about the city?

Aqualad: Oh yeah that too.

(Giant cockroach climbs out of hole and grabs Aqualad in its jaws and starts scuttling back down)

Aqualad: Help!

BB: Oh not again! We just saved him.

Cy: Fish boy gets jacked more then an average white dude with a fancy car! Probably getting F'ed up as we speak. Uh well suck to be him I guess.

Robin: Come on guys we got to go in after him.

Raven: Why?

Robin: Because if we don't we'll get stuck with Superboy. I'm not letting that ass in my tower.

BB: We are so not letting that happen.

Raven: What's so bad about Superboy?

Narrator: At this time Raven imagines herself back in the Tower.

(Raven is basically showering while Superboy watches her)

Superboy: Yeah thats it, now a little to the left, past the fogged up glass. Thats it...yeah baby come on...(Raven see him and goes into shock) Uh, oh she spotted me.

Raven: How can't I! Your just behind a freaking wood board with a hole in it!

Superboy: So can I still watch?

Raven: Get the F--k out of here!

(Superboy gets a huge psyhic beating)

Narrator: Raven now exits her dream sequence

Raven: Okay we save Aqualad.

Robin: Come on team there isn't a moment to lose!

Narrator: Meanwhile down in the catacombs beneath the city lie another city of mole men where our hero Aqualad has been taken.

(Mole Creatures throw Aqualad upon a thrown)

Aqualad: Please don't kill me! I taste like fish! Trust me its disgusting! The salt water probably screwed with my genes! I think I'm infertile and its contagious! You don't want that to happen to your balls right?

Mole Leader: We don't want to kill you sir, we want to make you our god.

Aqualad: Dude say what?

Mole Leader: We recognized you from a statue or stone picture in one of temples or from ancient prophecy that read rather vaguely we can't remember this storyline is incredibly generic. Anyway whatever made us realise it or discover it or something...look you're god okay what more do you need to know?

Aqualad: Hasn't this storyline been done to death?

Mole Leader: Well not as much as those "Prince and The Pauper" spoofs most cartoons do once in awhile, but yeah pretty much. Still you're god why should you care?

Aqualad: Good point...so what exactly do I do?

Mole Leader: Basically you just sit on that throne all day whilst hot mole girls fan you and give you grapes and wine and junk.

(Hot Mole Girls appear)

Aqualad: Well in that case...bow down to your supreme being mole people!

(Mole people start bowing)

Aqualad: Oh yeah I'm loving this.

Narrator: Meanwhile with our Titan heroes...

Robin: This sure is a lot of tunnels.

Star: I am rather surprised no one noticed them downhere. You would think Earth's constructors of this city would have found them after all this time.

Raven: Says here in the city's blueprints they did, but they just ignored them and went on like nothing was happening.

Robin: Where exactly did you get those plans?

Raven: I don't know these items just pop up out of nowhere.

Robin: Well we better get cracking on finding Aqualad.

Cheif: My Indian Tracking abilities will aid us with that.

BB: You know, sometimes I wonder whats worse for Indians. The savage nutjob Redskin Stereotype or the overly obssessed with nature stereotype.

Cheif: Hey, we use all parts of the buffalo. You just want the pelt.

Raven: Didn't your people drive the buffalo herds off of cliffs in mass numbers sending them to a grusome and inhumane death?

Cheif: Sssh, I am putting my ear to the ground to sense the Aqualad's preseance. Hmm lets see... bug... rat... worm... bug... mole... worm... earthworm... bug... rat... bug... mole... worm... bug... Cyborg.

(Cyborg steps in front of Cheif)

Cyborg: Yo bitch, that s--t ain't working.

Cheif: Please I need complete silence

Cyborg: What yous needs is an whack upside your head. Yo damn stereotypical bulls--t just ain't working playa.

Cheif: And I suppose acting like Tupac makes you slightly better?

Cyborg: Least I representing the brothers boy, y'all pimping to whitey so much its whack dawg!

Cheif: Least my people fought back against our white oppressors you just stood there and let yourselves get whipped and then ran like the little chicken you were on that railroad of yours.

(Cyborg's eyes fill with rage)

Raven: Now he's dead.

Cyborg: Oh you didn' just say that bitch! Now I gonna whack your ass!

Cheif: Bring it on!

(Five minutes later Cheif lies on the ground in a heaving mess of pain)

Cy: That fo all my brothers and fellow ganstas in the hood!

BB: This is getting us nowhere. I'll just turn into a dog and sniff out Aqualad. I mean he smells like fish how hard can it be to find him. (turns into a dog and starts sniffing around, then he bolts off down a tunnel)

Robin: Thats it! Come on guys!

(Every Titan, except Cheif, follows BB.)

Narrator: Meanwhile back in the lost civiliazation of the mole men's city...

(Aqualad being treated to belly dancer and foor messages and gormet food.)

Aqualad: Marvelous! Marvelous! (Face becomes stoic) Enough, I tire of your sexually charged entertainment. Bring forth the hose of wine!

(Titans bust in through the door)

Robin: Aqualad! We're here to save you for the second time today!

Aqualad: You're here to what?

(Cyborg punches past the sexy mole girls and grabs Aqualad)

Cy: No time to marvel at the furry bitches!

Aqualad: Put me down you idiot!

Star: But we are saving you friend.

Aqualad: I don't need to be saved! I'm being treated like a god here!

Cy: N--ga say what?

Aqualad: They think I'm a god! And they're treating me like one too! Its awesome!

Robin: Aqualad you have to come with us. You can't stay down here!

Aqualad: Why should I? You people don't even like me?

Robin: True, but we don't wanna get stuck with Superboy.

Raven: Also Cheif is really annoying. With you around we kinda balance out the suckiness of him.

Aqualad: That still doesn't make me want to leave

BB: Dude this is a generic storyline. Theres going to be some moral at the end where they tell you not to pretend to be something you are not. If you don't come with us now you're going to have to do something that you will find completely impossible.

Aqualad: Oh please. I'm god here! What could they possibly do to me?

(Mole Leader comes through door)

Mole Leader: Are these surface dwellers bothering you your godlyness.

Aqualad: No, its okay. They were just leaving

Mole Leader: Oh but they must stay! We're just about to start the colliseum event.

Aqualad: Great! Whose in it?

Narrator: Moments later at the colliseum of Mole City...

(Aqualad stands in the center of the arena)

Aqualad: Oh s--t.

BB: (Calls from stand) I TOLD YOU!

Mole Leader: And now our great and glourious god will defeat four giant cockroach creatures...with his two bare hands!

(Mole crowds cheer)

Aqualad: I am so dead.

(Giant cockroaches enter arena and slowly back Aqualad up against a wall)

Aqualad: Uh guys! A little help!

Robin: Gee, we'd love too. But you seem so happy here.

Star: Oh yes, we would hate to ruin your wonderful life here with the mole people.

Raven: Its just four monster insects, you can handle it.

Aqualad: I was wrong okay! I'm sorry! I'm a stupid idiot who was pretending to be something he wasn't! Just friggin help me!

BB: Well the moral has been learned we can help now.

Cy: I'm gonna go gettho on these bitches!

(Cyborg jumps on a cockroach and blinds it as it stumbles around like a moron and then breaks a hole in the colliseum wall.)

Aqualad: Quick run!

(The Titans run away from the coliseum with the Cockroaches following them)

Mole Leader: Our God is leaving! After him!

(Mole people chase after Titans)

Robin: Now what do we do?

BB: Another tired cartoon cliche, we have a real bad chase scene!

(Sound of a chessy fake rock song starts to play as the Titans run through the catacombs of the mole city. Going through one tunnel and then exiting another completely different tunnel as if they are connected which is higly improbable. Then Raven and BB start rowing along the ground in a boat while Raven holds a parasol she got from nowhere. Starfire appears in two places at once. A whale shows up from nowhere and exits into nowhere. Finally everyone who was chasing eachother collides into eachother and then they all race back to seperate tunnels and finally the chase and the music stop as the Titans arrive back to where Cheif is still laying on the ground)

Robin: They're catching up!

(Mole people and giant cockroaches start racing up to them getting very close)

Cy: I gotta plan Y'all.

(Cy picks up Cheif and throws him at the stupid mole people and cockroaches)

BB: Was that moral?

Raven: No, but he was just a stupid stereotype remember.

(Titans get back on surface and Starfire clogs up the hole with a boulder that came from nowhere.)

Robin: Where do we get all these props from?

BB: They just appear I guess.

Star: And what of Cheif?

Cy: Should've known he wouldn't get far on the east side with his additude. Little bitch got whats was coming to him.

Aqualad: Well all that matter is that I'm alive. So we should all be thankful for that.

(Everyone looks at him with emotionless expressions)

Aqualad: Shutting up now.

Robin: Well this is just great guys. Not only have we become grossly underpowered stereotypes but now we're stuck in crappy generic storylines.

BB: Dear god I can't stand this stupidity anymore. When will it end! WHEN!

Raven: There's only one option, we either convince General Rage to drop this experiment of his or we find the source of all this stereotypical junk and destroy it.

Narrator: Yeah like you'll ever do that. We'll be best friends forever.

Cy: You ain't our friend

Narrator: No but you should at least get use to me. Cause this is how its going to be from now on.

Robin: Titans we gotta get back to the tower and convince GR to change this all back before it gets worse.

BB: How are we going to do that?

Robin: I have no idea...I'm hoping I come up with something by the time we get there.


	6. Are you Evil Enough?

Head Goddess of Cynicism: Yes 70's shows are funny in that way. I'm just improving on them. Thank you for your kind words on my comic genius. Its always nice to hear how I am funny.

Acosta: Its true, the "Superfriends" and their ethnic heroes were based on Stereotypes. Apache Cheif and El Dorado were the biggests offences. I chose Apache Chief to parody because I was more familiar with him then the others. The other cartoon parodies were chosen because they were so cliche I had to put them in there.

--

Chapter 6: Are you Evil enough?

Narrator: Last we left the Titans they had returned to the T-tower to try and convince General Rage to stop his vicious stereotypical assault on their show. His response was a simple on worded phrase.

GR: No.

Robin: Look you proved your point okay, the 70's had bad cartoons. Can we get back to normal now?

GR: No.

Cy: Don't make me come over there bitch, I bust your face up!

GR: Yeah, sure. I'd like to see that. Listen guys consider yourself lucky. I had the option of putting you a parody of the drugged out 1960's Spiderman cartoon. All your villians would have had green skin, plots would mostly come from out of the blue hemp fantasies and most of the cartoon would have been comprised of you guys just jumping from building to building for long perods of time. Oh and Robin's grappeling hook would have been able to latch onto to clouds or something.

BB: So why are we stuck in "Superfriends?"

GR: Because, although obviously high, the Spiderman cartoon from the 60's at least had Spidey punching people. Violence was allowed back then.

Raven: So you choose the crappier of the two shows

GR: Thats a good sum up actually. Oh by the way another stereotypical storyline has been activated. Enjoy. (Fades from screen)

Robin: Wait! No! Come back! Come back! Don't do this to us! DAMN YOU RAGE! DAMN YOU AND YOUR ENDLESS TORTURE!

Raven: Overeacting much?

Robin: Yeah I know.

Narrator: Suddenly a flash appears behind our heroes and out steps six figures who look like our heroes...but from an evil alternate diemension!

Evil Robin: Yes, we have broken through the dimensional barrier now we can take over this pathetic world!

Evil Star: And we shall steal candy from children

Evil BB: And not look both way while we cross the street

Evil Raven: Our tyranny knows no bounds!

Evil Aqualad: All shall bow before us!

Evil Cy: Initiate stereotypical maniacal laughter!

(All evil Titans laugh maniacally)

Star: This is just plain freaky

Robin: Who the hell are you?

Evil Robin: We are your evil duplicates from another dimension! I am your evil counterpart, Evil Robin. Note my curvy and thin mustache that hightens my sense of evilness.

Evil BB: And I am Evil Beastboy! Look upon me for I have grown large fangs and have a tail that looks like a demon tail.

Evil Aqualad: And I have an eyepatch, so you know I'm so evil.

Evil Star: And me and Evil Raven are extremely unattractive with our super pale and sickly skin as well as our baggy eyes!

Evil Raven: Fear us!

Evil Cy: And my metal stuff is red, so I'm definetly evil because I'm wearing red.

Cy: Pft, Red clashes with men of colour foo, why you...wait, Red!

Evil Cy: Wait a second...BLUE!

Cy: Yous a dang Blood!

Evil Cy: Yours a damn Crip!

(Both pull out switch blades and start fighting eachother while Star hide behind Robin)

Star: What shall we do Robin? How can we defeat these evil fiends?

Robin: I have a plan. Aqualad distract them while the rest of us escape.

Aqualad: What do you I look like a moron?

Robin: Yes, thats why you got the job.

Raven: Wait a second guys, you sure these duplicates are evil and not just...well posing.

Evil Robin: Of course we're evil, I have a mustache see.

Evil Aqualad: And look at my eyepatch!

BB: Those things make you look gayer then you were before.

Evil Robin: Do not! My facial hair is a distinct sign of my evilness and villiany.

Robin: No he's right, it just looks stupid.

Aqualad: And the eyepatch thing is a little stupid

Evil Aqualad: Is not!

BB: Did you even lose your eye?

Evil Aqualad: No...but it just makes me look evil otherwise I wouldn't wear it.

Star: Does that not cause occular problems?

Evil Aqualad: I have no idea what either of you two Good Starfires are talking about.

BB: That answer your question.

Star: It does.

Raven: And Beastboy's evil counterpart just looks like a demonic animal and not in the scary way, in the ridiculously cliche and stupid looking way.

Evil BB: I'll have you know that this tail combined with the fangs and ears make me look like satan.

Raven: A green skinned satan?

Evil BB: Whatever.

Star: What is wrong with my evil version's face, it appears to be disfigured and worn.

Evil Star: Me and Evil Raven are painfully unattractive.

Evil Raven: All Evil people are ugly you know.

BB: Well thats not entirely true, I mean Blackfire is evil and she's smoking hot.

(Raven gives him a glare)

BB: But of course in my eyes shes compeltely ugly and disgusting and Raven is so musch sexier and all that other good stuff.

Raven: Good to hear it. Remember who sleeps with you.

BB: I will.

(Evil Cyborg and Cyborg stop their brawl for a second)

Cyborg: Quick pin the foo down and slice his ass up!

Evil Cyborg: I gonna kill you ya dirty Crip!

Cyborg: I blow yo brains out first Blood!

Star: Please must you fight each other? Can we not all work this out?

Raven: Besides, having an all red Costume doesn't make you evil.

Evil Cyborg: Sure does, I know cause I am evil.

Cyborg: And I know because Bloods are evil!

Raven: No you guys are just putting forth the ridiculously tired cliche that looks and appearance determines whether or not you are evil in a cartoon or comic book.

Evil Robin: Listen we don't care if you think our looks are gay and we're just stupid stereotypes. We're here to take over your dimension and commit horrible crimes!

Evil Aqualad: Sure are!

Evil Robin: Dude you're facing the wrong way, thats the kitchen the Good Titans are over here.

Evil Aqualad: Oh right (Turns other way)

Robin: What kinda crimes are you going to commit?

Evil Robin: I'm going to tie people to train tracks and then twidle my mustache whilst I laugh maniacally

Evil Cy: I gonna do drugs!

Evil Star: I'm going to steal candy from children and then shoplift some as well.

Evil Raven: I shall borrow books from the library...and then not return them! Mwa Ha Ha Ha!

Evil BB: I'm going to jaywalk and offer people sodas that I've already drunk from. My backwash shall make them gag! Wha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Robin: Holy Quantum Physics Titans, these inter-dimensional opposites of us are evil!

Raven: Actually those plans just sound rude...very rude.

BB: Except Evil Robin. His plan is evil although somewhat lacking in originality.

Evil Robin: What do you mean? I'm tying people to train track and watching them die whilst I laugh.

Raven: Oh yeah, tying people to Train Tracks, how original.

Evil Robin: Shut up its a good Formula. Now Good Titans, prepare to face your doom!

Evil Aqualad: CHARGE! (Runs into and trips over couch) I'm okay!

Evil Robin: Prepare to eat fist! (Punch stops in mid air close to Robin's face) Oh damnit not that stupid no punching rule!

Raven: The rules that we're stuck with apply to them as well!

Robin: Which means they can't fight us and we can't fight them!

BB: So how come Evil Cyborg and Cyborg were able to pounce on each other?

Cyborg: We were pretty much just rolling around and stuff.

Evil Cyborg: Yeah, our knives wouldn't slice.

Robin: You know what that means evil counterparts, neither of us can win!

Evil Robin: Curse you good Titans!

(Long awkward pause)

BB: So now what do we do?

Evil Aqualad: Simple, I defeat my good counterpart! (Runs over to a lamp near Aqualad and starts choking it) Waha ha ha! Die fool!

Aqualad: I'm over here idiot.

Evil Aqualad: Your cries won't save you now do-gooder.

(Aqualad walks over to a nearby window)

Aqualad: Hey I'm over here now

(Evil Aqualad drops lamp)

Evil Aqualad: how did you escape my grasp! No matter I shall destroy you anyway! (Runs at Aqualad. Aqualad steps out of way and Evil Aqualad crashes through Window and falls to the ground) AHHHH! (Splat) Ouch!

Aqualad: Loser.

Evil Robin: So we can't harm you and you can't harm us. Perhaps if we play a game of touch football we can resolve this matter.

Robin: Thats stupid.

Evil Robin: Well come on! How are we supposed to be good villians if we can't defeat you people?

Raven: You don't have to be evil you know.

Evil Robin: Yes we do, we look evil.

Evil BB: I mean look at our grotesque natures. All Evil Robin needs is a gotee or something and he has the complete evil package

Star: I feel sorry for my evil Doppleganger's appearance as well as Raven's evil counterparts appearance. I wish to rectify it!

Evil Star: How?

Evil Raven: Our looks make us evil! You can't change it.

Star: Yes I can, with the Earth girl custom of a ... MAKEOVER!

(Cue montage)

(Evil Raven and Evil Starfire enter with Starfire into spa while a bunch unknown people off camera sing)

Unknown people: _Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover,_

_Yeah yeah yeah!_

(Evil Raven and Evil Starfire get a facial treatment as well as a mudbath)

Unknown people: _Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover,_

_Yeah yeah yeah!_

(Evil Raven and Evil Starfire go into clothing shop and try on different clothes that are registered as pretty)

Unknown people: _Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover,_

_Yeah yeah yeah!_

(Then the Evil heroes get haircuts and make-up)

Unknown people: _Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover, Makeover Makeover,_

_Yeah yeah yeah!_

_MAKEOVER!_

(Montage ends)

Star: Now you both look pretty!

Evil Raven: I look like a whore. I mean the make-up and leather miniskirt are a big give away. I had two people just now ask me "How much?"

Evil Star: And these clothes you picked out are rather revealing. Its more like a swimsuit then a outfit.

Star: Oh but the more skin you show the better.

Evil Star: How do you explain the extreme pain in my butt cheeks then? I can tell you its not bcause this bottom part is tight and uncomfortable.

Star: I saw two males leave with rather satisfied faces. They must of liked how you looked. Their hands were going in a squeezing action. Perhaps this an earth ritual for the "Hooking up"

Evil Raven: Where exactly did you get your makeover tips?

Star: From a man with a long fur overcoat and a big hat with a feather in it.

Evil Raven: You got your tips from a pimp!

Star: Is that who he was? I just believed him to be eccentric.

Narrator: Meanwhile with the two Robins at an very old pizza shop...

Robin: Look guy you're going to be okay. The fact is you don't need to be evil to get by in this world. And the fact that you're a failure as a villian doesn't bode well for your crinimal career

Evil Robin: But its all I know, how else can I exist in this world.

Robin: Listen just go in there and apply for a job, trust me you'll do great. Your everything they say they want, hard working, determined, enthusiastic, you love people-

Evil Robin: No I love hurting people! Look at me man, look at this mustache, I'm evil no one is going to hire that.

Robin: Trust me, just go in there and try, I'll be behind you every step of the way...behind this lead sheild.

Evil Robin: Well okay, I guess.

(Evil Robin walks up to pizza place)

Evil Robin: Say wait a second this say this place is condemned

(Robin presses down hard on a plunger and the restuarant explodes)

Robin: Whoops, did I do that?

Narrator: Later at the Titans Tower...

Robin: Look he wasn't going to make it in the real world. He was far too pathetic to be good at anything. Plus you saw that mustache he was postively evil.

BB: Yeah whatever, I don't really care. He's dead and you're not. As long as there only one of you I'm fine because I can barely stand having you around.

Robin: So what happened to your evil dopplegangers.

BB: Mine's in a zoo trying to scare children, they just laugh at him and throw peanuts in his face. Its rather sad actually.

Cy: I sent mine to a meeting to pick up this car I jacked. Too bad I added something to the ignition.

(Explosion heard off in the distance)

Robin: So basically you planted a bomb in there. Isn't that a little cruel?

Cy: He was a stinking blood man! He deserved it.

Star: Our Dopplegangers took up a postion at a local strip club.

Raven: They thought it was the only place they could fit in now that they looked like sluts.

Aqualad: I think mine died on those rocks actually. There was this one rock going through his torso and stuff.

Robin: So we've technically murdered or ruined their lives now haven't we?

Raven: Pretty much.

Robin: Well at least we've done something right for once...even if we did it in a way thats kinda illegal.

BB: Oh sure "Kinda," Cyborg just planted a car bomb and you murdered someone indirectly by tricking him.

Robin: I'm trying to be positive here.

BB: Yeah well thats too bad because theres nothing positive about this situation. Rage isn't letting us out of this stupid parody and I can't stand not being able to pummel bad guys! My Animal forms are useless now!

Raven: I'll only option left is to find the source of this Stereotyping parody and destroy it.

Star: But where should we find this source of evil.

Narrator: Will the Titans suceed in their quest to escape this parody? No but it will be fun to watch them try. Tune in next time!


	7. Legion of Suck

Head Goddess: How true, everyone was on crack. Thank you for reminding me. Perhaps I can use that.

acosta: Good point about the Beauty and The Beast. You understood exactly what the folks at Disney were going for. I applaud you for that.

Thank you all for your kind reviews and I hope to continue to make you laugh, oh and "Blue Paratrooper" is right, Dumbass was a stupid space monkey. Two character in this chapter are stars from the popular Adult Swim cartoon, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I put them in here because they rock. Enjoy

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Chapter 7: Legion of Suck

Narrator: Deep in a dark and evil swamp lies a secret base that looks suspiciously like that of the Helmet of Darth Vader. Not that it matters though cause this was before the movie came out. Inside this secret base lies the headquaters of the most vile organization known to man! The Legion of Evil Bad People.

(Inside at a large conference table)

Slade: Order! Order! The Legion of Evil Bad People will come to order.

Dr. Light: We weren't doing anything.

Slade: Shut it, I know what I'm doing. We have all been assembled in this base from across the galaxy to...

Dr. Light: most of us come from Earth bozo.

Slade: Stop interrupting me! So anyway we're here to unite our villianous minds in order to confront the Teen Titans and defeat them. How I don't know. I figure we all just take turns coming up with plans each time we gather here. So anyway roll call. Killer Moth, the insectoid mad man.

(Killer Moth bites a chunk out of the table)

Slade: Cinderblock, evil rock monster.

(Cinderblock punches hole in the table)

Slade: Dr. Light, master of light and stuff.

(Dr. Light use a light laser to smash lightbulb overhead)

Slade: Mad Mod, the most stereotypical British dude the world has ever seen.

(Mad Mod uses cane to zap another overhead light)

Slade: And of course, all the way from the moon Ignignokt and Err.

Ignignokt: Yes it is true, we are from the moon

Err: And your not! So suck it!

Ignignokt: I think the simple fact that we're from the moon pushes us over the top of supreme evil. Its obvious that we're the most intelligent villians here.

Err: Damn right.

Slade: Yeah whatever, just wreck something so we can get on with this.

Dr. Light: Do we each have to wreck the table or blow up a lightbulb whenever we get together here?

Slade: Yes, its like our secret handshake.

Dr. Light: But it costs money to replace it all.

Slade: So, whats your point?

Dr. Light: Obviously you've never been on a budget like me.

Slade: That because I'm rich. I'm rich enough to create this base, drive you all here in a private jet and then constantly wreck and replace my own stuff.

Ignignokt: Perhaps if you were not poor you would understand that.

Err: Yeah Poor boy. Go back to your dingy shack!

Mad mod: Oie, I have a question. Who are these blokes anyway?

Dr. Light: They look like they stepped out of an Atari gaming system.

Ignignokt: We are Moonities from the inner core of the moon.

Err: The moon!

Ignignokt: Our race is advanced thousands of years beyond your own.

Err: So far it could make you sick.

Ignignokt: We're incredibly superior to all of your weak and feeble minds.

Err: So you can kiss our asses.

Dr. Light: Slade they're not even from our show! They star in that stupid flash cartoon on Adult Swim with the talking food things that just dance around and do random s--t.

Slade: I don't understand your point. Their here okay theres no sense in arguing.

Dr. Light: (Sarcastic) Well obviously oh great and wise leader. Like I care at this point since I'm surrounded by idiots.

Killer Moth: I am not an idiot.

Dr. Light: You're totally pushed around by your spoiled rotten kid.

Killer Moth: No I'm not! (Phone rings, Pick it up) Hello. Oh Kitten...Yes honey, what is it? Daddy is busy...You want this dress you found at the mall...and you need my credit card...but sweetie you've almost maxed them all out...but its all the cash we have left...Don't you want to eat?...Oh I see...Those diets will kill you...Okay, okay don't scream my wallets on the counter...your welcome honey. (Hangs up)

Mad Mod: Your pathetic.

Killer Moth: I know.

Ignignokt: I have seen people who are whipped before, but to be whiped by your own spawn is something to look down upon in shame.

Err: Especially on the moon

Ignignokt: On the moon you would be egged beyond recognition and laughed at in the middle of a large crowd.

Err: Tis the way society must function

Ignignokt: Weed out the weak and destroy their self-esteem or at least what is left of it.

Err: Works for me.

Slade: Anyway, lets go around the table and disscuss our plans. Dr. Light we shall start with you. How do you intend to destroy the Titans?

Dr. Light: I was thinking about aiming a giant light canon at their base and destroying it.

Slade: Pft, yeah sure like that would work.

Dr. Light: What are you talking about? It wouldn't be that hard to hit.

Slade: But where the humiliation, the suffering, the sense of failure on the part of the heroes. There no point in destroying them if we can't laugh at them afterwards! Besides that'll cost too much cash. I may be rich but I'm also cheap. This entire base for example is made out of bargain sheet metal and 2x4 wood planks.

Mad Mod: And the computers strewn throughout the place?

Slade: Oh those are just for show, they're mostly cardboard.

Dr. Light: Great, just my luck. I'm a suck villian stuck in a sucky organization.

Slade: Correct you are my friend

Ignignokt: You suck immensely.

Err: That a lot!

Ignignokt: Bow your head and beg for our forgiveness towards your suckiness.

Err: Do it now!

Slade: Cinderblock, your plan please.

(Cinderblock just smashes his part of the table)

Mad Mod: I think that means he just wants to smash them.

Slade: Well I suppose that could work...but what the intricultness to thsi whole plan anyway.

Dr. Light: There is none, its basically, Smash Titans and take over the city. That how Cinderblock thinks he's a brick head!

(Cinderblock growls at him)

Dr. Light: Oh shut up you know its true.

Killer Moth :I have a really good plan. First we create an army of destructive mutant insects that encompass the globe, the Titans try to stop them in a globe trotting quest on every continent. While they're gone we sneak into the tower and plant whoppie cushions on every seat! When the Titans return they'll sit on them. Since they'll be farting so much they'll think something is wrong with them. And when they go to the doctor's office to find out exactly what we attack them and stick a "Kick Me" sign on all their backs! They'll never be able to live a normal life again! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!

(All the villians look at him like he's an idiot)

Slade: What type of stupid plan is that?

Killer Moth: Well I like it.

Dr. Light: Your the only one who does.

Ignignokt: Such a feeble human mind you have. Obviously the atmosphere of this planet has effected your brain

Err: Only way you can be so damn stupid

Ignignokt: On the moon we don't need atmosphere to survive, we're far more sophisticated then you air breathers.

Err: Air is for dorks

Ignignokt: And squares

Err: And wieners!

Ignignokt: Moonites do not need air because we are above air.

Err: Air is for pussies

Ignignokt: Correct Err, you are all pussies.

Err: Damn right.

Mad Mod: You done yet?

Ignignokt: We will be done berating your culture and Earthly ways when we say we are done. Which will be never.

Err: Cause its just so damn easy.

Ignignokt: Lets face it, the Moon Rules and the Earth Drools. Now and Forever.

Slade: Well thats nice but we have a schedule to keep.

Ignignokt: Then we shall demean your way of life in our minds and send our messages to you telepathically with our psychic powers.

Err: You can't do that though cause you have no psychic powers!

Ignignokt: Yet another reason why you suck.

Slade: You don't have psychic powers.

Ignignokt: Yes we do, we just never show them.

Err: Yeah, we never show them.

Ignignokt: Because they are too advanced for your feeble minds to comprehend.

Err: Yeah we could blow up your head just by thinking it.

Ignignokt: Which is another thing you cannot do. Are you beginning to understand why you suck now? Cause if not we can continue to spell it out for you.

Err: Yeah Y-O-U S-U-C-K!

Ignignokt: Or can you also not spell, that would not surprise me if you could not.

Slade: Okay are you going to shut up now?

Ignignokt: We do not need to listen to you, we are completely independent and may do as we wish.

Err: So eat it!

Slade: Mad Mod give us plan and fast.

Mad Mod: Very well. My plan involves tricking the Titans into commiting crimes for us whilst they are asleep. We can have Robin steal money from banks, Raven rip off ATMs, Beastboy break into the federal Gold Reserve, Aqualad sink an oil tanker in the middle ruddy of the ocean, Starfire can blow up a few gas lines and Cyborg can nab us some autocars! Then when they realise what they have done they will turn themselves in and we can trap them jail whilst we are disguised as bobbies. Then we launch them all into space in giant rocket cage and laugh into the night! That ought to teach those naughty little wankers.

Slade: Seems a little complicated. Why not just mind control them all from the beginning to do our bidding and keep them as our servants forever

Mad Mod: True, but thats no fun.

Dr. Light: Actually it sounds a lot more fun then your plan. I'd love to ebslave the Titans into doing my bidding.

Ignignokt: Your plan is flawless, but my brain has transmitted a better idea.

Err: Cause were naturally better.

Ignignokt: There is only one full proof plan...and it involves this! (Holds up a screw) The the Screw of Damnation!

(Other Villians lokk on confused)

Ignignokt: I found it behind the amoir.

Err: Of despair!

Ignignokt: The Titans shall suffer deeply as this is bored into each and everyone of their skulls.

Err: One screw, goodbye!

Ignignokt: And everyone understands how this will come about...remember there are no dumb questions.

Dr. Light: Uh I have a question.

Ignignokt: Yes you, in the back, the retard with the dumb question.

Dr. Light: How exactly are you going to bore that screw into all six of their skulls? What are you gonna...tell them to stand still or something?

Ignignokt: No (Holds up post-it note with the words "Stand Still" on it) You will say that. While Killer Moth utilizes his phillips-head deathdriver.

Killer Moth: My what?

Err: You better have it.

Killer Moth: I don't even know what a Deathdriver is.

Err: (Annoyed) Oh god.

Ignignokt: Okay does anyone have any money?

Slade: Thats it, all your plans suck. I'm just going to suggest we charge the T-Tower in a massive assault and kill all the Titans that way.

Dr. Light: I doubt that will succeed.

Slade: Well its better then the screw plan those two came up with.

Ignignokt: How dare you mock our plan.

Err: Last time you ever dare to mock anything boy.

Ignignokt: Moonites unite.

Err: Lock in!

(Moonites connect together by their interlocking heads and produce four lasers)

Ignignokt: No one can defeat the quad laser.

Err: It is over now!

(Laser fires and a laser block comes out at a very slow speed.)

Ignignokt: The bullet is enormous there is no escaping.

Err: Jumping...is useless.

Slade: This is stupid, come on guys lets go attack Titans Tower.

(All villians leave while the Moonites are left behind)

Err: Damn, that didn't go well.

Ignignokt: Quickly Err, we must follow them. Otherwise our egos shall not be satisifed completely.

Err: Yeah we still have more of their culture to mock.

Narrator: Later the Villians assemble outside of Titans Tower

Slade: Okay on my signal...

Dr. Light: Why does it have be your signal?

Slade: Cause I'm the leader. I have the gavel, the head place at the podium, the works. I give the sifnal its only proper.

Dr. Light: Well why do we need a signal anyway? It easy, we just attack them and stuff. How hard can it be?

Slade: Good point...Cinderblock go first.

Cinderblock: GRAAARRRRRGGGHH!

(Cinderblock rushes out and gets blasted half a mile away by a huge laser)

Slade: There see, I have my reasons. Now wait a second okay...now go! CHARGE!

(Villians rush past blasts of laser and make it to the Titans front door.)

Slade: Victory is ours!

(Trap door opens beneath their feet and they fall through and down a pipe only to end up miles away in a landfill.)

Slade: Well that could have gone better.

Dr. Light: Oh shut up. This organization sucks ass.

(Ignignokt and Err arrive late at the Titans door)

Ignignokt: It would appear that we have beaten them once again Err.

Err: Yeah now we'll hog all the glory.

Ignignokt: Prepare the screw Err. For this is the day we prove our superiority. Never again shall people question that the Moon is better then Earth.

Err: Hell Yeah!

(Ignignokt rings bell)

Ignignokt: Teen Titans, come out and face the wrath of the moonites! Or are you too afraid of us and superior might!

Err: Yeah! Are you chicken suckas!

(Laser blasts at their feet)

Ignignokt: Ahh! Quick back to the ship!

Err: Yeah fast!

Ignignokt: There are only cavemen here anyway.

Err: Wave goodbye caveman, go berat rockl together you sissies!

(Laser blast again)

Err: Ahh!

Ignignokt: Ship Take off!

Err: Friggin Nerds!

Ignignokt: Nerds!

(Moonites ship flies off into space)

Narrator: Meanwhile inside Titans Tower

BB: So who were those last two guys?

Robin: No clue. Doesn't matter now does it. Come on lets eat pie.

BB: PIE!

Narrator: Meanwhile high above the Earth in space onboard the Moonites' Space Vessel...

Ignignokt: (Giving planet Earth the finger) I hope they can see this because I'm doing this as hard as I can.

Narrator: The Titans shall return after these shoprt messages!


	8. Aqualad is Useful, Sorta

Daenotsu: Thank you for your contribution. Since your profile labels you as spanish I think your english writing is superb. Much better then my french writing. I hate the french language, can't write a single sentance without a mistake.

Anyway I hope the rest of you enjoy this chapter, its the final one before the usual grand finale.

* * *

Chapter 8: Aqualad becomes useful...sorta.

Narrator: At Titans Tower, our heroes the Titans work tirelessly to find out the source of their troubles.

Robin: Curse this suck ass computer! Cy! I need some help with this here!

Cy: You can holler all you want white boy, I ain't doing jacks--t!

Robin: Ever since he became a friggin black stereotype he's been a total jerkwad.

Star: But Robin, you have become the dull and rather smary overly acheiving leader stereotype.

Robin: True, but without me who would answer the call to justice? (Deos heroic pose)

Raven: Huzzah, yippie. Woo. Did you find anything yet are were you too busy coming up with snide unfunny puns like you always did?

Robin: I came up with a few. One where a fish villian attack and throw a ice disk at him and say "Looks like its frozen fishsticks tonight"

Raven: Wow, I can't believe I thought Beastboy's jokes sucked. They're brillant compared to that.

Robin: Oh quiet you. Its not like you found anything.

Raven: Actually, thanks to the combined Brain Power of Starfire, me and Beastboy-

Robin: You used BB's brain?

Raven: Its not much but its all I needed. Anyway using our combined brain power I was able to boost my psychic abilities and locate exactly where the source of our trouble is.

Robin: How exactly?

Raven: Through an extremely complicated psychic procedure that the younger viewers at home would never really understand. Lets just say it involved a lot of chanting.

BB: It was a threesome.

Raven: Beastboy!

BB: Well what? It looked like one! We had our legs all twisted over each other and we kept touching each others naughty bits.

Raven: For your inforamtion that was a yoga circle. Get any thoughts about sexual deviance out of your mind.

BB: Why? You don't want a threesome?

Raven: You know I could always do that cliche thing BB/Rae shippers came up with, the idea of throwing you out a window sounds tantilizing right now.

BB: Um, would a "sorry" help me avoid this?

Raven: Maybe, and perhaps hot sex where I'm the man.

BB: (Wimpering) Mother.

Raven: And I'm videotaping everything for prosperity.

BB: Well my life is over.

Robin: Yeah, whatever, listen I'm least sexually motivated person on this team...

Raven: Wow, that explains everything.

Robin: (Glaring)... and I'd love to hear you two jabber away about your nighty time bussiness but I don't care. Just tell me what you found out Raven.

Raven: Okay, it appears the originating point of whatever it is thats causing our problems is coming from out in the ocean...Underwater.

(Aqualad comes rushing in)

Aqualad: Did I hear someone say, Underwater?

Robin: Ah crap, not a plot cenetered around the crappy hero! Those suck balls.

(Cyborg walks in)

Cyborg: My chocolate Salty Balls!

Robin: Oh stop it! This is going way too far!

Narrator: Later under the ocean surface, the Titans speed along in their T-Sub with Aqualad leading the way.

Robin: Great, so basically we're stuck following him. Holy pointless plotlines Titans I'm tired of this crap.

BB: If he gets captured again can we just let him die? Cause the chances of him getting captured are highly probable.

(Aqualad comes in on the com-link)

Aqualad: Would you jerks shut it! This is my element now suckas! So I know the score, you play by my rules. Youz in Aqualad's house now!

Cy: Hey foo, I'm the stereotype! Stop ripping off African-American stereotypes, they're part of our culture.

Raven: There is so much wrong with that statement.

BB: Next thing you know he's eating fried chicken and watermelons.

Star: I do not understand? Black people cannot consume these foods? Why?

Raven: Its complicated and because of its subject matter would never be covered in a stupid kiddie show like this. Racism along with drugs, war, violence and guns are never touched by these shows for their confusing subject matter. In other words the producers think kids are stupid.

Robin: Focus people, we have an evil villian of evil and evilness to stop. If we don't stop him it will be a disaster. Justice shall prevail!

BB: I was happier when he didn't break out in monologue all the time.

Star: And his puns are getting consistantly worse.

Raven: Were they ever good?

Robin: Since when do you make fun of me?

Raven: Since I became Beastboy's girlfirend, duh!

Beastboy: Although she does let lose the occasional sarcastic remark at times.

Raven: Beastboy stop picking your nose. You're going to pick up gold soon enough.

Beastboy: Yes dear. (Pulls finger out of nose)

Narrator: Meanwhile not far away in a hidden away Spacehsip under the seas...

Oglethorp: Emory where is the pizza! I demand it now!

Emory: Chill dude, we're under water, our place isn't the easiest to find you know.

Oglethorp: Well perhaps you shouldn't have placed us here then.

Emory: You were the one flying the ship. You said to go underwater, you said it would be cool and stuff, you said that we'd get a nice view of everything. And all I said was "Alright cool man" I wasn't arguing or anything.

Oglethorp: Whatever, the point is now we must prepare to launch our evil plan. We will unleash a deadly giant Octopus upon the planet. One that will reap vegeance and suffering upon the world to no ends! Nothing will stop it!

Emory: Yeah about that, um, the Octopus is taking awhile longer then we thought. Its like only about as big a garage or something.

Oglethorp: A garage! Emory you fool! How am I going to take over the world with a garage sized Octopus? A tank could crush it just by running it over!

Emory: Well chill dude he'll probably be ready by next week.

Oglethorp: Next Week! They are showing a Tom Arnold movie marathon! And I shall be damned if I miss that.

Emory: But Tom Arnold isn't even that good an actor.

Oglethorp: I know that...don't tell me things I already know!

(Proxemity alarm goes off)

Oglethorp: Ah! What is that!

Emory: I think its the proxemity alarm.

Oglethorp: What did I just say about telling me things I already know? It was a rethorical question!

Emory: Well I figured you wanted know because you asked-

Oglethorp: Shut up! Unleash the giant octopus upon the intruders! You know for a test run of sorts, just see what he can do and then we'll work our way up from there to larger prey.

Emory: Okay so which one of these buttons does that?

Oglethorp: I wil press the buttons you are unqualified. Einze Frien Drie go! (Laser blast out eyeballs) DAMNIT! Wrong laser! Wrong Laser! Emory you fool! Why didn't you label them?

Emory: Cause you said they were top secret and no one was supposed to know.

Oglethorp: Well now you label them! Where are mien eyes?

Emory: Here they are dude. (Holds up eyes and Oglethorp grabs them and puts them in his sockets)

Oglethorp: Okay, now press the correct button and unleash...The Cracken!

Emory: Isn't it Kraken? You know with a K?

Oglethorp: Nien! It is the Cracken! It is an original monster that no one has come up with before. We're not stealing ideas so just shut up!

Emory: Geez sorry.

Narrator: Meanwhile back with our heroes the Titans...

BB: Okay I spy something with my little eye that is purple.

Raven: My hair.

BB: Wow your good at this, um, I spy something that is purple.

Raven: My hair.

BB: Wow you're good at this, I spy something that is...

Raven: Its my hair and the next one, just a guess, my hair.

BB: Okay, now thats just creepy.

Robin: Would you two shut up!

Aqualad: Hey I've seen this speck of dust before, we're going around in circles, which means we aren't going straight...

Starfire: Friend Aqualad.

Aqualad: I need to get up to the surface I'll figure it out there, come on guys lets go!

Starfire: Aqualad!

(Aqualad stops in mid swim)

Aqualad: Uh yeah?

Starfire: Relax, you shall never find what we are looking for if we do not ask for directions.

Robin: Always the women who ask first huh?

(Starfire presses the button that cuts off Robin's air in his bubble and he begins to choke, she then turns it back on)

Starfire: Now where was I? Oh yes directions! Yet us ask that giant shadowly object in the distance.

Aqualad: Thats a whale.

Starfire: Hmm, then perhaps I should speak whale.

Robin: You kissed a whale to learn its language?

Starfire: Yes, my people are strangely attracted to sea creatures. It has something to do with our evolutionary past. Anyway allow me to begin. Wooooeee aoooorrreee looooooosssttt caoooonnn yooooouuu hooeelllpp uooooossssssss, foiiinnnd oooooouuuurrrr woooooaaaay!

BB: What the hell is she doing?

Raven: Speaking whale apparently.

Aqualad: Thats not whale! I speak whale thats not whale!

Robin: You don't speak whale you talk to them telepathically.

Aqualad: Silence bird brain this is my house remember.

(Whale swims up to Aqualad and pokes him the back)

Whale: (Speaking telepathically) _Hey Aqualad, remember me?_

Aqualad: _Uh no?_

Whale: _Its me, Lenny, the Baby Sperm Whale you and your stupid friends used to pick on._

Aqualad: _Really...wow you've uh...grown huh?_

Whale: _Yeah, we're one of the biggest whales in the ocean, just a few meters under the Big Blue dude._

Aqualad: _Oh I see...heh heh. Wow this is awkward. So how you been?_

Whale: _Oh good, good, how about you? Still struggling with your sexuality?_

Aqualad: _Fine go ahead, think about that, they can't hear you anyway this is a thought conversation._

Whale: _I'm just asking cause you're travelling with two hot surface girls_

Aqualad: _Yeah, but they're both taken._

Whale: _Should have guessed. Anyway I got to go, wife is in that time of year you know. But theres just one last thing._

Aqualad: _What?_

(Whale swims around and swings his tail down on Aqualad with such force it pushes him to the bottom of the ocean)

Whale: _Whose a loser now asshole! You've just been Whale Served!_

(Whale swims off with a smug look, Titans look on in confusion)

Robin: Uhhh...what just happened?

Starifire: Let me check. Wooooohhhaaatttt hoooa-?

Robin: Stop speaking whale!

(Aqualad rest at the bottom of the ocean)

Aqualad: I guess this what they call karma, could have been worse he could of mentioned freshman year where I was stuck in that closet with the pufferfish. Still it was best night of my life...only time I ever got any before Daulphin showed up. I better find the others then.

(Giant Tentalce wrap around him)

Aqualad: Oh pooper! What now?

(Brought up to the face of a giant octopus)

Aqualad: Holy S--t! I mean...Lord Posiedon! Its a giant Octopus! I have to break free of his grasp! Grrrh! Oofff! Can't...pull...free, describing...every...detail...starting...to...get...annoying.

(The T-Sub approaches)

Starfire: GASP! Aqualad has been captured...again...nevermind I am no longer surprised.

BB: Aqualad! Just use your fish talking powers!

Aqualad: Oh right forgot about that!

Narrator: Using his telepathic abilities Aqualad calls forth ever fish nearby. However they are unable to help and are quickly eaten by the octopus. Two crabs also try to pince the tentacle fiend to let Aqualad escape, but they are eaten as well.

Aqualad: Whoops, sorry about that guys.

BB: You idiot! Use it on the octopus!

Aqulad: Oh right, forgot I could do that..._Hey tentacle boy cut it out. Its me Aqualad! You know, Aquaman's trusty sidekick! He's the ruler of Atlantis and stuff._

Octopus: _Oh you're Aquaman's kid! Now I see._

Aqualad: _So you'll let me go then?_

Octopus: _Nah, Aquaman owes me like five bucks and he hasn't paid me back for six years._

Aqualad: _You hold a grudge just because he owes you money?_

Octopus: _He said he just need some cash to start a bussiness and if gave him a few dollars he'd pay me back plus share the profits. Next thing I know he's king of the mermen and ladies and I'm stuck in an alien lab been surgically modified!_

Aqualad: _Sorry to hear that._

Octopus: _Yeah whatever. I hope you don't that I'm gonna hold you hostage for Five buck plus intrest right?_

Aqualad: _Well I suppose its only fair._

(BB swims up in shark form bites the octopus on his tentacle and swims back to the sub)

BB: You were boring me, I have life you know, can't spend half of it down here.

Aqualad: Quick run!

(Sub and Aqualad swim off, away from Octopus)

Octopus: Damn, thats gonna take weeks to grow back. Oh well might as well roam the oceans destroying ships. Cause I ain't going back to those loser aliens.

Narrator: Meanwhile back with Emory and Oglethorp

Oglethorp: What happened? Are the intruders dead yet?

Emory: Actually they kinda ripped off a tentacle and swam away.

Oglethorp: Damnit, alright then call back the Octopus.

Emory: Uh, he kinda bolted.

Oglethorp: What do you mean bolted? You placed the mind control device on him ja?

Emory: Mind Control? Dude didn't you say putting the octopus under mind control was overkill and far too expensive?

Oglethorp: Yes I did say that, but didn't you use the cheaper alternative I suggested?

Emory: Yeah I made him watch educational cartoons...but they just made him angry and it didn't seem to be making him into our slave and stuff so I turned them off.

Oglethorp: Great job Emory, great! Now our ticket to world conquest is off in the ocean doing whatever he wants. Your stupidity has ruined my plans once again. Now we must deal with the intruders before they cause anymore damage! Quick launch the destructo-tube!

Emory: The what?

Oglethorp: You know the homing underwater torpedo thing we have.

Emory: We have one of those? Cause I don't remember you even asking me to get them.

Oglethorp: I did. I put a note on the fridge for you.

Emory: The only note on there is for me to get milk. And its from two days ago.

Oglethorp: Really? (Goes over to fridge to check on the note) Well what do you know I didn't ask for a destructo-tube. Still why did you not get the milk Emory!

Emory: I got it two days ago dude, you were just didn't remove the note.

Oglethorp: I am too busy to such things! I am reserve all my free time for planning world domination!

Emory: Okay, so what do we do about the intruders since we don't have a destructo-tube?

Oglethorp: Well lets see, do we have mines?

Emory: No

Oglethorp: How about giant crabs?

Emory: No

Oglethorp: How about a robotic sea serpent or something

Emory: No.

Oglethorp: Well what do we have?

Emory: We got have a robotic shark.

Oglethorp: Hm...can it shoot laser out of its eyes?

Emory: No but it can chomp stuff.

Oglethorp: Well I suppose it shall do for now. Now let us launch the shark, retinal scan on (Laser zaps out eyes again) Ah damnit! I told you label those buttons! My eyes are throbbing from the laser!

Narrator: Meanwhile, our heroes are closing in on the nefarious hide away of the dasterdly bad person who caused them so much grief.

Robin: According to Raven's coordinates we aren't very far from the source of this retro insanity.

Star: Thank goodness we shall be normal again. I cannot stand not being able to punish my enemies.

Raven: I just want to get out of this stupid parody.

Cy: When this ends I gonna kick it with my homies in the crib, twenty-fo seven bitches.

BB: Okay can you not go a sentence without swearing?

Cy: S--t dawg, you asking too much from me there. Hell, why you have to be such playa hater my homie? I think your ass too cranked up in the hizzle.

Robin: Stop talking! I just want to bring this evil person in for justice because justice is order and without order there is chaos. That why we fight the good fight for the free world and everyone.

Raven: Do you think thgese stupid speeches will stop after this is over?

BB: Nah, they'll just be more moody and emo.

Robin: I heard that.

Raven: We know.

BB: We just don't care.

Narrator: Suddenly out of nowhere something latches on to tghe sub.

(Clang! Crunch!)

Robin: Oh no! We've been snatched by an evil robotic shark!

Star: Aqualad save us!

Raven: NO! He'll only make things worse!

Aqualad: I'll save you my friends!

Narrator: Using his super telekinetic powers Aqualad calls forth a nearby dolphin!

Aqualad: _Quick! Save my friends and stop that robo-shark!_

Dolphin: _Oh hell no. I saw what happened to those fishy friends of yours and the octopus. No way am I letting a metal shark of death cut me up. You're on your own. _(Swims off)

Aqualad: Damn I hate it when that happens.

Narrator: Aqualad instead relies on his underwater super strength to pry the shark away from his friends

Aqualad: I have you now Metalmouth.

Robin: Hey! I was suppose to use that!

Raven: Either way its a sucky line.

Aqualad: (Prys shark away from sub) Yes! I've done it! (Shark closes mouth and eats him)

Robin: Saw that coming

BB: Shouldn't we be mourning him or something?

Raven: Why do you?

BB: Nah, I'm just asking

Narrator: Meanwhile inside the metal shark Aqualad is throwing a spastic fit.

Aqualad: AAAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAHHH! AAAAAHHH! I'm gonna die! AAAHHH!

Narrator: Because he is so maddened by his present situation Aqualad disconnects several wires from their circuit boards. Casuing the shark to go hat wire.

Aqualad: This shark is going haywire!

Narrator: I just said that.

Aqualad: Sorry.

(Shark spits out Aqualad and speed off towards Emory and Oglethorp's ship)

Narrator: Meanwhile back with the aliens...

Oglethorp: Emory what is that thing racing towards us?

Emory: Looks like the shark we launched.

Oglethorp: Why is it coming at us so fast?

Emory: I don't know really. Maybe we should put up a shield or fire a laser.

Oglethorp: Nien, that shark cost money to build, I'm not going to flush all that hard earned cash down the drain so you can just-(Notices sharks is five inches away) Oh no.

(KA-BLAM)

(Ship explodes and small escape pod launches away from wreckage)

Oglethorp: Once again Emory you have ruined everything.

Emory: How is this my fault?

Oglethorp: Because I know it isn't mine that is for sure.

Narrator: Meanwhile back with the Titans

Robin: With that metal shark gone gang we are that much closer to our goal. It should be smooth sailing from here on in

BB: Dude, we know, you've been saying that ever since we got rid of that metal thing.

Robin: Oh shut up, I know already.

Raven: Look there it is!

Aqualad: Excellent! It looks like giant underground dome shaped base not too different from the one that Bro. Blood had.

Cy: We can see it foo, don't f---ing tell us what it looks like.

Aqualad: I'm sorry I'm describing a lot of things lately.

Star: A question, I've been meaning to ask how Aqualad can talk underwater. He never has before

Aqualad: Must be a power that was added by the retro-effects of that laser.

Robin: Is that possible?

Raven: Well technically it makes sense since he comes from Atlantis. It just wasn't placed in our show because the writers thought kids might get confused that Aqualad can talk underwater.

Robin: So how come we have it now?

Raven: Because obviously the writers of the "Superfriends" show didn't think kids were THAT stupid.

Robin: Lets dock there. Even though an empty dock in an evil base looks like a trap of somesorts.

Raven: Ya think?

(Sub docks in the dome and the Titans get out)

Robin: Time to find the source of this madness.

Raven: I can sense it more clearly now even with the effect of the retro laser in effect. It through that door!

Robin: Cyborg! Kick down!

Cy: Sure thing my brother, time to bust it all up in this hood with that mutherf--ker in here!

Narrator: And so with his powerful strength Cyborg busts down the door to the inner sanctum to find...

Titans: GASP!

And Now a word from our sponser.

(Kid with a candy thing in his hands walks up to a turtle.)

Kid: Mr. Turtle, how many licks does it take to get to the crappy center of of a Poopsie Rolls Poopie Pop?

Mr. Turtle: Those things taste like s--t. I never even made it without biting anyway, ask Mr. Owl.

(Kid walks up to an owl)

Kid: Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the crappy center of of a Poopsie Rolls Poopie Pop?

Mr. Owl: Well those things taste horrible, but I'll give it a shot. (Take Poopsie Rolls Poopie Pop and unwraps it) One, Two, Three...(Bites it) three. (Hands back empty stick)

Kid: You jerk that doesn't answer my question.

Mr. Owl: Life is full of dissapointments kid.

(Kid takes a shotgun and blows off Mr. Owl's head)

Announcer: How many licks does it take to get to the crappy center of of a Poopsie Rolls Poopie Pop? The world may never know because no one tries to figure it out on their own and they are idiots.

We'll be back with the conclusion to all this insanity.


	9. Retro to the Future

Chapter 9: Retro to the Future

Narrator: ...ME!

BB: Holy crap! This is the source! He looks like that dude from the second Matrix movie...only he's in a black suit and doesn't look at all like Colonel Sanders!

Robin: It was you! All the time! Your the source of this evil Retro crap!

Raven: It seems a little obvious.

Robin: Not to me it wasn't!

Narrator: I'm a side-effect of the Retro Laser Rage unleashed upon you.

Star: How is this possible?

Narrator: Your vague question is easily answered. When Rage fired the laser he sent the surrounding area of your city back in time to expierence what it was like in the late sixties to mid seveties. The time when "Superfriends" was at its peek. By doing so he brought me back to life in more ways then you can imagine. But as soon as I realised this was all temporairy I decided that I didn't want to leave. So I built this place to keep the laser's effect upon you even longer by exposing you periodically to radiation. The effects should have worn off days ago but I kept that from happening.

Aqualad: So thats why Rage didn't shut down the experiment, he doesn't even know whats going on.

Narrator: He's too busy having sex with that hot alien to notice.

Robin: Figures

Cy: Whys you being all up in our grill with this boy, whats your deal bitch!

Narrator: I'm sorry I don't speak gangsta.

BB: He means why are you doing this?

Narrator: I'm not just any narrator, I'm THE Narrator! The very person who narrated the "Superfriends" during its long run up till the mid 80's when it hit the wall. By the 90's I was out of work, Super Hero shows became edgy and the only narrators people needed were ones that lampooned the use of needing a narrator. My profession had become a joke. So I ended up shrivelling away. But now that I'm back I intend to stay narrating every detail of your miserable lives!

BB: No way dude! I don't need you looking in to my bedroom on the weekends. That's when Raven is there.

Raven: I'm not for a second letting someone narrate my sexual practices.

Robin: And I can't stand sounding like a chauvinistic pig!

Star: I wish to have clothes that do not chaffe me and not remain Aqualad's taxi service.

Cy: I need to stop talking like I live in the gettho!

Aqualad: Well I just want my water powers back actually. Cause in this form I just plain suck.

Narrator: Sorry, but I'm big brother and you're my slaves. You can't possibly hope to defeat me and my minions!

Robin: You have minions?

(Door opens to reveal to reveal two figures)

Narrator: Titans, meet the new and improved Blunder Twins!

(Blunder twins step out, with emotionless expressions and robotic arms)

Titans: (Laugh hysterically)

BB: Them! They suck!

Narrator: You'd think so wouldn't you? Blunder Twins! Unite! Whose-it! Form of an Ice Monster! Whats-Her-Face! Form of an evil fire breathing dragon!

(Whose-it turns into an ice monster and Whats-Her-Face becomes a fire breathing Dragon!)

Cy: Oh that is whack!

Narrator: They may not be able to use their power creatively, but I can! Blunder Twins! Attack the Titans!

Titans: AHHH!

(Blunder Twins begin to attack the Titans as they all run around like morons. Robin gets tossed around by the Dragon's tail, Aqualad get pummeled by the Ice Monster. Starfire tries to help but gets frozen by the ice monster's breath. Raven tries to stop the dragon but it grabs her and prepares to breathe fire on her. Beastboy jumps in as a gorilla and shuts the monsters jaws tight. Cy punches the monster but it comes out as a "bonk" instead. It doesn't effect the Dragon and it just slams into the ground with its foot and pins BB and Raven to the wall with her fists)

Narrator: You have a choice Titans, surrender and return to your crappy parody of Retro times, or die here.

Robin: Not on your life jerk! (Throws a disc that hits the main generator in the center of the room)

Narrator: YOU FOOL! Do you realise what you have done?

Robin: Uh...no. Is it good?

Narrator: No its bad! Very Bad!

(BB use the distraction caused by the explosion to slither out of the Dragon's grasp as a snake and bite the other arm as a Crocodile. The dragon releases Raven and She force pushes it into an opposing wall. Starfire breaks out of her icy prison and uses her laser eyes to melt the Ice monster!)

Cy: Alright homies! We beat the Blunder Twins! Capped their asses didn't we? Old school!

Aqualad: What are you talking about I got pummeled to bits and you didn't do anything. Ow my ankle

Cy: Hush up foo, else I rip your tongue out and lick my ass with it!

Aqualad: Eww.

Robin: Its over Narrator. This place is going to explode any second.

Narrator: You imbecile! Your stupid disc thingy destroyed my radiation generator! I can't stop the flow Retro Radiation, the same kind that altered your city to a superfriends parody in the first place!

Robin: What does that mean?

Narrator: It means you've doomed us all! We're going to be blasted into a million parodies of Retro-Pop Culture! So much so that when it reaches it pinnacle we'll all be destroyed! You've doomed us all!

Robin: Whoops, my bad.

Raven: Great job Boy Dunderhead, now we're officially screwed.

BB: Least I won't die a virgin...sorry Cyborg, you too Aqualad.

Aqualad: Yeah, I know.

Cy: Pft, shows what you know. I had me some pie last night. You know when yous in the shower with some fine foxy mama and she got that-

Aqualad: Alright fine! Everyone here has been laid but me! Daulphin insits on waiting till marriage.

BB: Sucks to be you then. Even Robin's been laid.

Robin: Can we stop talking about getting laid, we're going to die!

BB: At this point I don't care. In the past few days I kinda wanted to die anyway. Rae can we have one last hot makeout session before its too late.

Raven: Works for me. (Pulls BB into a hot makeout where they totally go at it)

Aqualad: Breathe godamnit you two! God you're both going to swallow each other's heads!

Cy: Your just pissed cause you want some of that action.

Aqualad: True. So very true.

(Large Flash of light!)

_Gonna go on down to Jump Park and meet some friends of mine!_

_(Bow, Bow)_

(Raven, BB and Aqualad waiting for the bus)

BB: Why do we look like we're made out of paper mache?

Aqualad: They must've cut our budget.

Raven: Murphe Murhpre!

BB: Huh?

Raven: (Pulls down hood) Sorry, can't breathe in that thing.

(Robin shows up looking real fat)

Robin: Hey you guys, you guys, you guy, Seriously you guys.

BB: What now Robin?

Robin: I have this here cake but I couldn't possibly eat all of it. Mmm, yes I can. (Chomp chomp)

BB: Can we have some?

Robin: No you can't.

BB: Why?

Robin: Cause your friggin Jew.

BB: Since when am I Jewish?

(box of nails falls off of passing truck and hits Raven in the head)

Aqualad: Oh my god! They killed Raven!

BB: You bastards!

Raven: Guys I'm fine I just have a gapping head wound.

BB: Oh sorry.

Robin: You screwed up big time that time Jew. Lets face it, your people are stupid.

BB: Would you shut up! I'm not Jewish!

(Cyborg shows up in a chaef hat)

Cy: Why hello there children.

Titans: Hey Cy Chef.

Cy: Sorry children I can't stay, since I follow a cultish religion I'm quiting the show. So long children.

Titans: Bye Cy Chef.

(Truck of ice cream crashes and the guy inside burns to a crisp whilst he runs around insane like and dies)

Robin: Sweeeeeeet

BB: Since when did you become an asshole?

Robin: Shut up Beastboy! Shut your godamn Jew mouth!

(Flash of light)

(Robin seen swinging through city in several disportinate shots, he grabs a building ledge then jumps off and the scene cuts to him swinging again. The he starts swinging down a random street, then it cuts to him swinging through the clouds)

Robin: Why is the skyline green and purple and why is this whole place on LSD.

_Robin-man, Robin-man_

_Does whatever a Robin can!_

_Migrate Continents, any size!_

_Catches theives like worms and flies!_

_Look out, here comes the Robin-Man!_

(Flash of light)

Raven: What the hell am I doing in this red outfit? I feel stupid. Where's BB?

(BB break out of egg thing)

BB: Na New Na New.

Raven: Oh brother.

BB: Shazzbot.

Raven: Sweet god kill me now.

(Flash of light)

(Cyborg looking like he's obesse and in a red sweatsirt talking into a broken mircophone)

Cy: Hey Hey Hey! Its Fat Cyborg!

Cosby: Better be careful or else you'll learn something. You kids don't learn much with your hipping and your hopping and your rap music and stuff. You see life is like Jello pudding...

(Flash of light)

The year is 1987 and NASA has launched its last deep space probe, but because they are lazy something happens to zap astronaut Dick "Robin" Grayson out of orbit, freezing his life support system and seemingly at random returning him to Earth 500 years later! These are the Stories of Robin Grayson in the 25th century!

Robin: Time to have sex with hot alien babes and save the world at the last second! Come sidekick junior space cadet Aqualad! There is work to be done.

Aqualad: Why the hell am I wearing this stupid helmet and uniform?

Robin: Listen, do you want to be my co-star or not?

(Starfire walks in wearing a tight fitting white space suit)

Star: Robin does this outfit make me appear fat?

(Robin pushes Aqualad off screen)

Robin: Say Star want to be my sexy sidekick/love interest?

Star: I would love to.

Aqualad: You people are jerks.

Robin: Look out aliens!

(Everyone runs away screaming from giant laser beams)

(Giant Flash of light)

(BB and Robin in a red car with the Confederate flag on top)

BB: I told you not to steal the sheriff's moonshine! Now they gonna lynch us good.

Robin: No worries Cusin, I knows a short cut past the state line.

BB: You know, we've gone up and done stuff like this before. How come we ain't in jail?

Robin: I don't know. I can barely drive anyway what makes you think I know how the law works. Hey look a ravine!

(Honks horn as it play "I wish I was in the Land of Cotton" and jumps the ravine)

BB & Robin: YEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAW

(Car pauses in mid air)

Looks like them Titan boys are in a heap of trouble again, they better wish for wings...while they still breathing.

(Flash of light)

(Cyborg lies on a table as the other Titans surround him)

Robin: We can rebuild him, we have the technology...but I don't want to spend too much money.

(Cyborg later seen running down the road in slow motion with a trash can for a torso and a mop for a leg. He also has a mannequin's arm and a bucket holding up his head)

Victor Stone is...the $60 Man.

(Flash of light)

(Robin dressed up in a paper roll costume. BB shows up)

BB: What the hell are you?

Robin: I'm a bill my friend, but some day I hope to become a law.

_I'm just a bill,_

_Sitting here on Capital Hill,_

_Hoping and a praying the political losers inside,_

_Come to their senses and give me a sign._

BB: So what is it your being sent here for?

Robin: I want to make it law that you can't talk about evolution in school.

BB: Isn't that unconstitutional?

Robin: Do you see anyone caring?

Senator: Uh sorry Bill, they didn't rectify ya. Come with me to the shredder

Robin: Damnit, fourth time this year.

(Flash of light)

(Aqualad wearing a Nazi hat and a eye monocle)

Aqualad: It has come to my intention that several of you inmates have been trying to escape. I'm afraid that this will not be tolerated in my escape proof camp of Stalag 13. I'll be tighting night time shifts everywhere. And Saregeant Robin Shutlz will keep an eye on all of you. Especially you Garfield Logan!

BB: Oh no, not Shutlz, how will we cope.

Aqualad: I have my eye on you, know that.

BB:Understood sir.

(Aqualad walks away)

BB: Okay you get the code book Cy?

Cy: Right here, pretty snazy huh?

Robin: Is thatz the commandants code book?

BB: Perhaps it is Sargeant, but you want Colonel Aquaclink to know that you couldn't guard his stuff?

Robin: I see nothing! Nothing!

Cy: I also put a glue bomb under the Colonel's desk.

(Blam!)

Aqualad: LOGAN!

(Flash of light)

(Robin enters a door wearing tattered prehistoric clothes)

Robin: Starfire I'm home!

Starfire: Hello Friend Robin, how was your day at the quarry?

Robin: Well I was crushing rock as usual when I realised something. Who exactly uses the stuff that we crush up into bits? And then again who cares? And why am I using a giant brontosarus to do it? Aren't they suppose to be extinct by now?

Starfire: Robin this is a kids show, no one cares.

Robin: I suppose, but on my way over I couldn't help but notice that everything I pass looks exactly alike. The houses, the trees, hell even on my way over to the kitchen the back of the room has appeared the same twice. I've past that couch twice now, I swear it.

Starfire: The producers want to save money Robin, this show is basically a rip-off of the honeymooners.

Robin: So whats the Jetson a rip-off of?

Starfire: Stupid World Fairs of the 1970's of course.

Robin: Okay I nedd to lay down. My feet are killin me from driving my car all the way here. It would be easier to just walk instead pushing a heavy car everywhere. Can I have some coco-pebbles?

Starfire: Of course.

(Flash of light)

(Robin in a starfighter)

Robin: Men, the Battlestar Titanlactica is under attack!

BB: From who?

Robin: The Cyborgons!

Titans: GASP!

Cy: Ha Ha. pathetic humans, your race ends today.

Robin: Not on my watch it does. Come on guys, lets engage in witty banter whilst we attack our enemies.

Starfire: I agree!

Raven: Well at least the special effects aren't as chessy as other Sci-fi shows.

BB: So which button fires the lasers?

(Laser fire and hit the Titanlactica)

BB: Whoops.

Raven: Just don't touch anything okay.

(Flash of light)

Cyborg: Beasty-Doo, where are you!

BB: Whelp! I ran't reak rioght!

Robin: How exactly do we understand what he's saying?

Star: I don't know, I guess I'm too much of a floosie.

Raven: Why the hell am I wearing these thick glasses and this poorly designed mini skirt? Do all smart people have to look geeky?

Robin: Quiet gang, we have a mystery on our hands. Someone has stolen a lot of money and theres a scary creature prowling around. I say we split up and search for clues. This will possibly endanger our lives...but who cares the formula has worked for years.

Cyborg: Can I at least chow down on some of those dog treats with Beasty.

BB: Why Do roo eat Rog Rood?

Cyborg: I don't know. I just do man.

Robin: Shut up hippie. We all know its because your high.

Cyborg: I am not.

Raven: A question why do people think I'm gay? Is it because I'm not entirely attractive?

Starfire: It does not matter because I screw anything that moves.

Raven: This is stupid.

(Flash of light)

(Cyborg wearing a hunter's cap and holding a shotgun)

Cyborg: Be Wearly Wearly Quiet, I'm hunting Wavens.

(Raven pop out of her hole with Bunny ears and chewing a carrot)

Raven: Nah (Munch munch) Whats up Doc?

Cyborg: Hold still you Wrassically Waven.

Raven: Hold on Doc, it ain't Raven Season its Robin season.

(Robin walks out of woods, he has a duck bill)

Robin: I resent that remark! I can tell you for sure that it is really Raven season.

Raven: Robin Season.

Robin: Raven Season!

Raven: Robin Season.

Robin: Raven Season!

Raven: Robin Season.

Robin: Raven Season!

Raven: Raven Season.

Robin: Robin Season!

Raven: Raven Season.

Robin: Robin Season!

Raven: Raven Season.

Robin: I say its Robin season and I say fire!

(Cyborg fires on Robin and his Duck bill flys to the back of his head, Robin looks at Raven0

Robin: You're Dispicable (Spits a little on her)

Raven: Ain't I a stinker?

(Flash of Light)

Robin's voice: Robin's guide on how not to be seen. Here in this picture are several people, however you cannot see them because they are trying not to be seen. In this picture we will show you the dos and don't of how not to be seen. Now I'm going to ask Miss Morgan of Whinchester to stand up. Mrs. Morgan stand up please.

(Woman stand up and a shot rings out killing her)

Robin's Voice: Mrs. Morgan did not follow the first rule of not being seen. Don't stand up. Now in this picture I'm going to ask Mr. Anglow of Milerbury to stand up. Mr. Anglow stand up please.

(Guy stand up and gets shot)

Robin's Voice: Now in this setting Mr. Peeshaw of Cannterton is hiding, Mr. Peeshaw stand up please. (Nothing happens) Mr. Peeshaw has learnt the first rule, don't stand up. However he has chosen a rather obvious hiding place. (Bush in the middle of the field explodes) Now Mr. Shorts of Downing Street has given us a conudrum by hising here in this field with three bushes. However we can deduce where he is. (Explosion destroys bushes on the left and right and finally the middle one)

Mr. Shorts: AHH!

Robin's voice: It apparently was the middle one. Now Mr. Fergilude is hiding here in this picture. He could be behind any of these bushes, that well, the car in the distance or that barrel. However we already know he's in the barrel. (Explosion destroys the barrel) Mr. and Mrs. Seltercrantz of Oxford Street gave us a rather merry chase, they left their house didn't tell anyone whewre they were going or leave indication where they were going. However their neighbour told us where they were. (Beach Front house explodes) And this is the neighbour who told us where they were. (Aqualad appears with a hankerchief around his head and really uptight suspenders. Suddenly he explodes)

Robin: And this where he lived, (House explodes) And this is where he was born (Hospital explodes) And this is where he went to school (School Explodes, Robin laugh meniacally as the picture shifts to him sitting in a field at a desk. Suddenly he stops and regains his composure)

Robin: And now for something completely different. (Explodes)

(Flash of light)

And now back to Logan's Run!

(Raven and Beastboy running through several alleyways and halls mindlessly.)

Raven: Why are we running exactly?

BB: I don't know, I'm just doing what the show's title says. I think it has something to do with being thirty

Raven: But we're teenagers.

BB: Oh...well then who cares.

(Flash of light)

(We see the New York that suddenly shifts down to a sewer lid that explodes outwards with energy expunges four tutrles into the air)

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Heroes in a half Shell, _

_Titan Turtle Power!_

_They're the world's most fearsome fighting team!_

(Titans jump right of Turtle Truck while Starfire drives)

Cyborg: We're really hip.

_They're hereos in a half shell and they're green!_

Raven: Hey get a grip.

_When the evil Slade attacks!_

_These Turtle boys and girl don't cut him no slack!_

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Batman taught them to be Ninja Titan Teens_

Robin: He's a radical Bat.

_Robin leads,_

_Cyborg does machines!_

Cy: Thats a fact jack!

_Raven is cool but rude_

Raven: Give me a break (Splats pizza on camera)

_Beastboy is party dude!_

Beastboy: PARTY!

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Teenage Mutant Titan Turtles_

_Heroes in a half Shell, _

_Titan Turtle Power!_

BB: Now we're all green!

Raven: (Sarcastic) Yeah.

Starfire: How come I must wear this Yellow Jumpsuit? Do all Earth reporters dress as this?

Cy: Just go with the flow. I don't mind having a shell.

Raven: I'm just surprised I got stuck as a part thats reserved for a boy Turtle.

BB: Cowabunga!

Raven: I suddenly have a strange craving for pizza. And I mean a real craving. Like I need to have one right now.

BB: At least our favourite food hasn't changed

(Flash of light)

(Robin in the buff holding up a sword)

Robin: I HAVE THE POWER!

(Gets hit by a juice box)

Robin: Ow that hurt.

(Flash of light)

(Aqualad, BB, and Robin dressed in brown jumpsuits wearing Ecto-packs)

BB: So what exactly are we doing again?

Cy: There was a call from this building saying a spectral anomaly had occured. We need to check it out.

Robin: Yeah whatever, I'm just going to make several sarcastic remarks and pretend to know what I'm doing.

Aqualad: I'm the just the extra character anyway. We need an even number for this team.

(Evil ghosty pops out of floor board)

BB: Holy Rasin Bran! That almost enough to scare my child-like fascination and behaviour right out of me!

Cy: Remember don't cross the streams or we're screwed.

(Titans zap the ghost and pull him into a trap)

Robin: Another job well done, lets hit the bar.

Demonic voice: Choose a parish!

Robin: Huh?

Cy: Its one of those things where they read our mind and have something attack us don't think of anything.

Demonic voice: The choice is made!

Robin: What? We didn't choose anything!

BB: Whoops

Robin: What did you do?

(Giant Marshmellow sailor walks down the street)

BB: Its the Stay Puft Marshmellow man.

Robin: Great.

BB: I was trying to think of something that would never destroy us, and then I thought back to my camping days. Mr. Stay Puft, I remember we used to roast Stay Puft marhmellows around the fire.

Robin: Beastboy's gone bye-bye Cy, what do you suggest?

Cy: I'm sorry Robin, I'm terrified beyond the capacity of rational thought.

(Stay Puft looks at them)

Aqualad: Oh hell.

Robin: Mother puss bucket!

(Flash of light)

(A dolorean speed through the sky)

BB: Doc what exactly is going on?

Mento: Its your kids Marty something has to be done about your kids! But carefully, any possible interaction between you and your future self could cause you to go into a state of shock or possibly create a paradox that could destroy the universe as we know it! Then again it could just create a small blackhole confined to our own galaxy.

BB: Wow, thats exciting.

Mento: I know, Great Scott I wonder how many running gags from the last film there will be in this one.

(Aqualad falls in manure)

Aqualad: I hate manure!

(Flash of Light)

(Slade and Robin fighting on a ledge above a large casam with laserswords, sudeenly Slade cuts off Robin's hand)

Slade: Join me and together we can rule the Galaxy

Robin: I'll never join you, you killed my father!

Slade: No Robin...I am your father.

Robin: NOOOOOOOOOO!

(Flash of Light)

Robin: Okay everyone its time to Transform and defeat the evil Sladeocons! Titanbots! Transform! (Turns into Firetruck)

BB: Transform! (Turns into a moped)

Cy: Transform! (Turns into a tank)

Starfire: Tranform! (Turns into a convertible)

Raven: Transform! (Turns into a Hearse)

Aqualad: Transform! (Turns into a Geo) Ah damnit! I get the crappy car!

Robin: Well someone had to. You thought you were gonna get the race car? Pft, are you ever deluded.

(Flash of light)

(Close up on Titans water tower shape like a 'T' that opens to reveal Robin, Beastboy and Raven drawn in a zany cartoon way)

Rae, BB & Rob: _It time for Titanmaniacs!_

(They start bouncing on their butts)

_And we're zany to the max!_

_So just sit back and relax!_

_You'll laugh till you collapse!_

_We're Titanmaniacs!_

_(Beastboy and Robin walk around stupid like)_

Robin & BB: _Come join the Titan Bros._

Raven:_ And the Titan Sister, Raven_

_(Cyborg runs after them)_

Robin BB & Rae: _Just for fun we run around the Jump City movie lot!_

_They lock us in the tower whenever we got caught!_

_But we break loose and then vamoose,_

_And now you know the plot!_

_We're Titanmaniacs!_

_Raven's cute and Robin yaks,_

_Beastboy pack away the snacks_

_While Batman plays the sax!_

(Batman seen playing the Sax when the three titans pop out behind him and in the sax itself)

_We're Titanmaniacs!_

_(Robin plays the villians heads like a xylophone)_

_Meet Mallah and the Brain who want to rule the universe!_

_(Saturn falls on Brain and Mallah as they launch a beam into space)_

_Titans East flock to together_

_While Madame Rouge whack them with her purse._

_Aqualad chases a seal_

_While Starfire sings a verse,_

_The writer's flipped, we have no script _

_why bother to rehearse?_

_We're Titanmaniacs!_

_We pay for play contracts!_

_We're zany to the max!_

_There's baloney in our sacks!_

_(BB and Raven drop baloney into Robin's pants)_

_We're Animeany, Totally Insaney_

Raven:_ Here's the show namey_

Robin, BB & Raven: _Titanmaniacs! Those are the facts!_

(Flash of light)

(Close up on a lab where two small mice that look like Mallah and the Brain reside in a cage)

Mallah: Gee master, what are we going to do tonight?

Brain: The same thing we do every night Mallah. Try to take over the world!

_They're Mallah and the Brain,_

_Yes Mallah and the Brain._

_One is a genius,_

_The other's insane,_

_They're muntant crossbreed mice,_

_There genes are messed up and spliced,_

_They're Mallah,_

_They're Mallah and the Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Before each night is done,_

_Their plan will be unfurled!_

_By the dawning of the sun,_

_They'll take over the world!_

_They're Mallah and the Brain!_

_Yes, Mallah and the Brain!_

_Their twilight campaign,_

_Is easy to explain!_

_To prove their mousey worth,_

_They'll overthrow the Earth,_

_They're Mallah,_

_They're Mallah and the Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

_Brain,_

Mallah: Le NARF!

(Flash of Light)

BB: Where the hell am I? And whats with this mask. (Puts mask on face and suddenly he starts twisting around in a crazy tornado! When he get out he's still green, but has a yellow suit on) SSSSSSSSSSMOKING! (Slides over to mirror) Its time to party. P-A-R-T, why? Because I gotta! (Jumps out door into hall and stops when he sees the sign on the door saying quiet) Sssh! (Tip toes across room when a alarm clock jumps out his pants and onto the floor. BB notices it and tried to grab it. Then he takes out a giant mallet and starts swinging it around, hitting a wall and the floor until he finally succeeds in destroying the clock) Snoooze!

(Manager walks out and screams, she's wearing face cream on so BB screams and his eyes pop out of his head. She pulls out a shotgun and start shooting at him, but he jumps away and down the hall crashing through the window and onto the street below he flatens like a pancake but pulls his face off the pavement)

BB: Look ma! I'm road kill! Ha Ha Ha!

(Flash of light)

(Beastboy shown in red PJs with an "F!" sign on them, he runs around doing stupid things in this Theme song guess what they are)

_Super teen extrodinare!_

_Beastazoid! Beastazoid!_

_Runs around in underwear!_

_Beastazoid! Beastazoid!_

_Rescues Washington DC!_

_Beastazoid! Beastazoid!_

_Unless theres something's better on tv_

_Beastazoid! Beastazoid!_

_His brain is overloading, it has a chocolate coating._

_Textbook case for Sigmund Freud!_

_Beastazoid! Beastazoid!_

_Check out Garfield Logan, nerd computer ace._

_When surfing on the Internet and was zapped to Green Monkey cyberspace_

_He turned into the Beastazoid, the strongest super Beast Freak_

_He drives the villains crazy, cause he's a lunatic!_

_His home base is the Beastyalair!_

_Beastazoid! Beastfricaci!_

_Floyd, the Barber, cuts his hair!_

_Beastazoid! Chimpanzee!_

_Rides around in the B-mobile!_

_Beastazoid! Beastazoo!_

_Hopes to make a movie deal!_

_Beastame! Beastayou!_

_He's here to save the nation, so stay tuned to this station._

_If not, we'd be unemployed!_

_Beastazoid! Beastazoid!_

_Beastazoid!_

(Flash of light)

These are the adventures of the Star Ship Titanprise, its 10 year mission to seek out new worlds and races, to keep the peace in the Galactic Federation and to boldly go where no man has gone before!

(In teleport room)

Robin: Mr. Cyborg...I'm...setting up an away team...the members will be you, Mr. Beastboy and...Ensign Aqualad.

Aqualad: Ah crap.

Beastboy: Sir, I find it highly illogical to bring along someone who is inexpeirenced and will possbily die within five seconds.

Robin: Hey someone has to be there to take the bullet. Besides...those...hot alien babes...won't...have sex with themselves.

(Explosion)

Officer Mcreedy: Cap'n, an enemy spaceship hit our rear thruster and we're falling into a timewarp! I can't pull out of it! I don't have the power!

BB: I find it illogical that this man is here. We never even met him before the Retro laser was activated.

Robin: This can only be the work of one person. KHANNNNNNNN!

Cy: Do we know a Khan?

Robin: Oh, what I meant to say was...SLADDDDDDEEEE!

(Flash of light)

(Titans appear to be back in there old Tower)

Robin: Hey I think things are back to normal!

Mike: At least I think so.

BB: Yeah theres nothing overtly different about this place.

Tom: Except I can't find my porno stash.

Cy: I don't know something's odd.

Crow: Well you're a buzz-kill aren't ya?

Raven: Wait a second do you hear something.

Mike: No you have an inner ear infection.

Starfire: Raven is correct I do hear something.

Crow: (Acting like Starfire) Yeah its saying "Bite Me"

Robin: Wait a second! Who are you? (Points at screen)

M&tBts: Ahh!

Raven: Oh god we're still stuck in retro world.

Aqualad: It could be worse.

Tom: Well no actually its about as bad as it can get.

BB: They're right Aqualad, shut up.

Crow: He said exactly what I was thinking.

Mike: Me too.

Tom: Me three.

Raven: Hey would you three shut up!

Crow: How about no.

Raven: Thats it, robot crushing time!

Tom: Run!

Crow: Ahhhh!

(Crow and Tom run out of theatre)

Mike: Guys come back its only a movie!

(Flash of light)

Floating Head: Titans I have given you each the power of Dinosaurs, to help me combat evil with cool kung fu. Over time though this premise will deminise emmensily as we come up with more and more stupid cliches and gimmicks to draw in viewers.

Robin :Why do we care?

Floating Head: Cause I'm paying you too.

BB: Good enough

Aqualad: Why do I get the black Ranger! No one cares about the black ranger colour.

Cy: Because I'm blue, BB's green, Star's pink, Robin's red and Raven is yellow. Deal with it!

_Go Go Titan Rangers!_

(Flash of light)

(A reel depicting several points of BB's life plays)

_It started when a green monkey did what it did,_

_And bit poor Gar on the wrist with a secret diesease that it hid,_

_His parent's cured him but gave him super powers now he's no ordinary kid,_

_He's Beastboy!_

_So if you see him you might be in for a big surprise, _

_he'll turn into an Animal before your very eyes,_

_He's tiny, creepy, fast and strong he's every shape and size_

_He's Beastboy!_

_With all new powers he's on the case,_

_Fighting off evil from earth or space,_

_He'll never stop till he makes them pay,_

_Cause he's the baddest kid to ever save the day!_

_Beastboy!_

BB: Wait a second this isn't an old show!

(Sokka of the Waterbending tribe shows up)

Sokka: Where the world am I?

BB: Thats what I was wondering.

(Raven shows up with Mandy)

Raven: I met this scary little kid on the way in.

Mandy: You're all blind to the ever approaching doom that awaits us all.

Sokka: This isn't fair! This kinda stuff always happens to me! I'm just a guy with a boomerang okay! I didn't ask to be thrown around like some kind of chew toy or something! Now I'm stuck in some void with a bunch of people I don't know. Sometimes I feel no one cares.

BB: Dude, I feel the same way. One time I had this friend who I tried to help but she died and I couldn't save her.

Sokka: Hey, that sounds like a girl I knew at the north pole. She sacraficed herself to save to the world.

BB & Sokka: Hold me!

(Both start crying and sobbing)

Mandy: Boys

Raven: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Mandy: ...

Raven: ...

Mandy: ...

Raven: Well it was nice talking to you.

Mandy: Likewise.

(Zuko runs in)

Zuko: Must find the Avatar!

Robin: Whoa dude calm down! You sound like me when I want to stop a bad guy.

Starfire: I have met the most wonderful friend.

Amy: Hey everyone did you see a blue hedgehog around here?

Starfire: Compeltely obssessed with a boy and totally obvious about it, just like me!

Cy: Guys this little freak won't stop following me.

Cosmo: And then I sunk Atlantis to get it clean!

Cy: Shut up! You're an idiot!

Cosmo: Like I haven't heard that before

(Sean from "Jimmy Nuetron" follows Aqualad around)

Sean: And thats why Ultralord kicks all other superheroes in the butt.

Aqualad: Please leave me alone! You're driving me insane!

(Flash of light)

(Large explosion propels Titans thousands of miles into the air and the land on a beach in the bahamas in the water)

Raven: Is it over?

BB: I think I sprained something.

Robin: Hey! My pants are back! I'm not wearing short shorts anymore!

Cyborg: And look I can speak plain English! I'm not a stereotype!

Aqualad: Yeah whatever rub it in guys, I know I suck.

Robin: Yeah you do, but at least everything is back to normal.

(Cock of a shotgun is heard and Titans look up to see General Rage holding a shotgun near their faces)

GR: What the hell are you idiots doing on my front lawn.

BB: Its a beach.

GR: Okay! My beach, what are you doing on my beach?

Robin: We've just escaped from your insideous Retro Laser Beam's effects! Your little TV Trash experiment is over!

Raven: Great back to his stupid puns again.

Robin: Quiet you!

GR: Well congratulations Titans, you found your way out of the madness...that was the test.

Robin: Say wha?

GR: I wanted to see how long you could last before you either died or before you figured it all out. I knew that Narrator dude had gone rogue after the first two days. I'm not stupid you know. I was just waiting for you guys to find out and eliminate him. Can't have my employees out of line you know.

Robin: So you just let us do your dirty work!

GR: Yep. The whole point of this Experiment waqs to make you all realise that you take your super powers for granted. Chances are producers would still think you super heroes were total idiots who were only watchable for young children. Sure Muramaki's staff made the show for kids, but at least it attracted other people as well. And they loved it. Well most of them anyway, comic guys still all hate your simplified asses.

Robin: So is that the real reason you did all this? To make us appreciate that us super heroes are treated more respectfully.

GR: HA HA HA HA HA! No you stupid! I was lying I just liked watching you all suffer horribly.

Robin: You little-

(GR puts gun up to Robin's face)

Robin: Grrr. (Back off)

GR: Well anyway, here some free tickets back to Jump City, I have them all on hand. Lucky you I only settle for first class, nothing less.

Robin: Well I guess I should say thank you for at least providing us a ticket home.

BB: Sweet! First class!

Star: Most excellent!

Cy: Bet they have something good on the TV.

Raven: Comfy chairs and good meditation music. All I need..

GR: Travel home safe guys, I'll call upon you when the time is right once more.

Blackfire: (Calling from beachouse) Ragey! Its Sex O'clock! You saw what I did there I subsituted Six's I for an E and made it sound like Sex!

GR: Coming honey! Alright kids shoo, General has to lead another assault.

Robin: Eww.

GR: Just get off my lawn or Pain will shoot ya. He's quite good at the "Beach Head" arcade game.

(Titans look over to Pain as he sits in a sand Fort with a machine gun)

Sergeant Pain: Look daddy! I made an exact replica of a German pillbox of the Omaha Beachhead out of sand!

GR: Daddy's proud of you son!

Sergeant Pain: I know! Can I shoot the stupid heroes now?

GR: No give them a few seconds to run for it!

(Titans run away from Rage's beachouse and onto the mainland)

Sergeant Pain: Now who am I gonna shoot?

GR: Try those drug runners I asked to come here. They should be fun. They're coming up to the beach right now

Sergeant Pain: Awesome! The fish will be snortting coke tonight!

Epilogue

The exact whereabout of the Narrator are unknown, he has possibly slipped into another diemension waitint for the time to return.

Aqualad is still a useless loser

Emory and Oglethorp returned to pluto to collect a desposit on their ship. Unfortunately it was null-in-void because their insurance doesn't cover "Attacks from Metal sharks"

The Drug Dealers were all killed horribly by Pain. Pain even drew a picture of him holding up one of the Dealers heads.

Sokka, Mandy, Zuko, Sean and Cosmo were all returned safely to their own TV shows. Where Mandy is still evil, Sean is still insane, Cosmo is incredibly dumb, Zuko is still moody and Sokka is still a chick magnet and attracter of many shipping wars. Yuokka, Ty lokka, Sukka and Tokka forever!

The Titans returned to their Tower and finally got around to completing movie night. Beastboy decided upon watching Monty Python's Meaning of Life, Robin suggested a Bruce Lee movie, Cyborg wanted to watch Star Wars, Starfire wanted to watch an extremely sappy romantic comedy and Raven enjoyed Dr. Strangelove and its black humour as did BB. They have decided never to mention this incident to anyone again.

Officer Mcreedy was filed on charges of bribery and explotation as well as his ties to the Scottish mafia. When asked about the charges he commented that even though they could take away his badge they couldn't take away his freedom to be a Scottish Stereotype. To fill the void he has left in the police force, the mayor has decided to increase their budget...because Mcreedy was the only cop in town apparently.

GR and Blackfire still have lots of sex...every day.


End file.
